You know I started thinking... I blog pretty much everyday. Minus some weekends when I'm not into getting on the computer. And this is a weight loss blog. I haven't lost any weight since February! So how the heck can I blog every single day? What have I been blogging about?
I guess it's the same ole same ole. I wanna.... I didn't.... I wanna... Why didn't I?? So, really, WHY DIDN'T I?!
In all honesty, it doesn't matter. But I just can't keep NOT doing this. I can't. I have to do this. I CHOOSE to do this! But, then again, I think I've written this several times before.
Something clicked (again) yesterday while I was doing my Supercharged Sculpting. Just looking at those girls reminded me of what I want. Reading Alicia's post yesterday reminded me. I know that I can't compromise. I know what I have to do.
I'd say that overall, I did it yesterday. I am proud that I went ahead and did my exercise. I'm proud that for the most part, I ate very well. I'm proud that I have a daughter to help encourage me. DH does too. I guess I've got it pretty good, don't I?
Oh, and remember yesterday I wasn't thinking I'd be sore? Yeah, I'm sore as shiz today! I love it! I love it!! I love feeling sore. I love it because I really feel like I've accomplished something.
So, why do I blog? Because if I don't, I will fall off the face of this weight loss world. I've tried it every other way in the past. And this has been the most consistent time and the longest time I've stuck with this. I realize this time around...it's FOREVER. So that's why I blog. I love you guys and you really help me along the way. Thanks!
I do believe Tatum is feeling better. After reading Alicia's post, I felt very inspired. She always does that to me! So I asked Tatum if she felt like exercising. (She seemed to be better, and let's face it, she never completes the ENTIRE DVD with me.) She said, "YES! Exercise is good for your heart!" That's my girl. So I told her I was going to get changed. I was thinking I'd do an easy WATP DVD. I barely break a sweat there. So even though I have good intentions, I knew I still wasn't giving it my all. But it's better than nothing, right?
I come out of the bathroom and Tatum has already set up my TransFIRMer. Oh, wow! I wasn't ready for that. But okay. Let's do it. I couldn't disappoint her, afterall!
So I did my 35 minute SuperCharged Sculpting. Some of the moves hurt my knee a little bit. But overall, I was able to push through. I wonder if I'm going to be sore. It doesn't feel like it. That worries me. I'm usually at least a little sore after I do that workout for the first time in months. Maybe I didn't give it my all, but it sure felt like it.
Well, Tatum has learned a few moves from me, apparently. Any time I wasn't on the TransFIRMer, she jumped on to do her own thing. Cutest thing EVER!!!
Well, many of you will be happy to know that we did not go to the Corn Maze this weekend. I had decided much like Val suggested. We would figure something else out to do. Something not *quite* as exciting as the Corn Maze. But when we all go up, Tatum had a fever. She wouldn't hold the thermometer under her tongue for the entire time, but it did get up to 101.5. Now, she's not sick very often. She said her throat hurt. So we didn't even have to make a decision on the Corn Maze. After some Tylenol, the fever was going down. DH & I had decided to lay plastic in our flower bed (so weeds can't grow through.) and then put mulch on top. We bought everything Friday night, so we were ready to go. Since T was acting okay, she was able to go out there with us. Our nurse practicioner neighbor looked at her ears, nose, and throat. She said there weren't any white infection sites, but it was all red. So we gave her some Robitussin to break up all the drainage. She will never take that again. She said it tasted awful. Bottom line for a weight blog...my exericse was the flower bed.
My eating the entire weekend has been horrible. Not only is there no structure to my day, but there's no structure to my eating. There weren't any real meals. Just grazing all day.
Tatum still had the fever on Sunday. Her eyes were so weak looking. She had some diarrhea. But by Sunday night, we thought she was better. This morning around 3:45 she woke me up because she was thirsty. I gave her water, which she later puked on my bedroom floor. I decided she'd be staying home. If for nothing else, than to rest and become re-hydrated. By 8:00 she was acting pretty normal. But we had already called the school and I called work, so we are staying home. I still think she probably needs it.
So, I've still been sucking at this weight loss thing. I've got to reel it back in. I know this.
Good morning! Or afternoon, depending on where you are and when you're reading this. It's so beautiful here this morning. It was 45 degrees when I left the house. Ahhhhh! Love it! I'm not sure the exact high for today, but it's in the 80's I think.
Well, Tatum had a good day at school yesterday. Whew! I'm tired of having my stomach in knots everyday wondering how she's been. I know I can't do anything about it while I'm at work and I shouldn't worry. But I do. Maybe I need to re-visit that Serenity Prayer.
Two nights in a row Tatum hasn't watched TV. I just didn't turn it on either night. She didn't even miss it. We played outside some and then colored together. (Have I mentioned that I LOVE to color?!) We usually try to give her some outside play time everyday. So that's not abnormal. She likes to get out and ride her bike. Since we live in a cove, it's perfect. I take a lawn chair to the end of the driveway and watch her ride. Sometimes our neighbor friends come out too. But what IS abnormal is that the TV wasn't on. It's always on. Always. Even if we aren't really watching it. Sometimes we leave the house and don't turn it off. So it was very refreshing to not have it on two nights in a row. I have to talk with DH and let him know that I'd like to keep it that way. It's better for all of us. I'd rather spend quality time with the fam.
We were supposed to go to the corn maze and pumpkin patch this weekend. That was if Tatum was good all week. But she had the really bad day Tuesday. I'm going back and forth here. If she's good today, that will mean four good days. Does one bad day outweigh that? BUT....on the flip side, as DH says, "We told her all week. And we have to stick to our word." I agree with that. But are we telling her that she's expected to be perfect and can't mess up even one day? I just don't know. We'll see. I REALLY want to go. LOL! I'm such a child.
I ate Mexican yesterday for lunch and then pizza for dinner. My initial thought for lunch was that if I'm healthy the rest of the day, a splurge is okay. But I forgot I told Tatum we'd order pizza. She had a freebie for getting Principal's List. Yes, even with the behavior issues, she's smart as a tack. So I screwed the pooch yesterday food wise. But it's okay. It's going to happen. Today is a new (and gorgeous) day and I am going to do fine. I <still> have my leftover pork chop for lunch. It's all good.
I love these Fall temps that we've been having the past couple of days. I want to curl up under a blankie with a good book and some hot chocolate. (Or a Pumpkin Spice Creme from Starbucks)
Yesterday was a pretty good day. I didn't do bad with my eating. Now I'm not counting calories or anything like that right now. But I ate my healthy breakfast and my healthy lunch. I wasn't hungry for a snack in between, so I didn't eat one. Then I had my afternoon snack and a mostly healthy dinner. I say mostly because I did eat some boxed mac & cheese.
When I got home from work, I had to wait a few minutes for DH to get home with Tatum. I hate that wait. Wondering how she did at school. Well, she did great! DH decided he was going to cook the pork chops. So I grabbed Tatum and we went for a walk around the block. We each had our iPods on and had to look funny. She has my old iPod that I thought died. So I bought a new one and then the old one started working. Remember that? Anyway, we even jogged some. Now, when Tatum jogs, I don't have to work too hard to keep up. She's little. So it didn't bother my knee too badly.
I got home and was all pumped. I knew I was going to wake up early this morning to workout. Well, no, I didn't. Tatum woke me up around 2:30 because she had to go to the bathroom. She always comes and wakes me up. I'm okay with that. I'd rather her come in and tell me than think she has free run of the house. I had a splitting headache at that time. I knew 4:15 wasn't happening. So I reset the alarm for my non-exercise time. DOH!
I plan on eating well again today. I have leftovers for lunch. I already ate my Ezekiel bread, almond butter, and banana for brekkie. I have some good snacks here. I'm ready to go. Maybe T & I can do our jog again.
Now...the orthopedic doctor... I have to go back again on the 29th. Thing is, I still have bruising from the accident on my knee. You can still see the discoloration. And it's still a little swollen. Doc pressed on it and asked if it was tender. I told him do it again and he wouldn't have to question me! Yes, still very tender. Almost six months later. My knee must have smacked that dash/steering column pretty hard. I don't remember. All I know is that I had a softball size knot on my knee by the time I opened the door and got out of my car.
Which brings me to some of my feelings. I'm so resentful. That guy driving the prison van was irresponsible and didn't even look to see if I was gone. He hit me and has turned my life upside down. I don't even know how to feel. I know I should let that go. That's why it's called an accident. But damn! I mean, if I'm driving prisoners around, I think I'd be a little more careful. So, I will work on letting this go. I should pray some, huh?
I have a confession. And I don't mean to leave these things out of my blog. It's just that I usually "wing" my posts and don't have a written out format. I tend to forget things that I would like to say. So, I'm going to be honest here today.
When I went to have my blood drawn on Monday, they weighed me. It was my first time going to that doctor, so they did all the vitals. My weight was 196 point something. I tuned that part out. Now, mind you, this was right after I ate lunch and drank 32 oz of water. I had on jeans, t-shirt, and shoes. So it wasn't my normal first thing in the morning BAN weigh in. And I know if I did that, I'd surely weigh a lot less. BUT! It was still scary to see 190 something.
In continuing with the honesty... I haven't been trying. We all know that. I haven't exercised consistently. I haven't been paying attention to what I eat consistently. I mean, yeah, at work, I'll USUALLY do okay. But then I get home and it's not so good.
I have new motivation, though. Sort of. Tatum had a terrible day at school yesterday. Worst day ever. She got the worst conduct grade possible. The teacher mentioned that we might want to look into ADHD. (As I've been suspecting anyway.) She also mentioned monitoring Tatum's diet a little more. I agree there. I know the school serves CRAP. But it's so much easier to let her go through the breakfast and lunch lines. However, last night Tatum & I went to the grocery store. I let her pick out a few things. Now I'm not going Super Healthy on her. She already barely eats. But we got some stuff to make sandwiches. Either ham and cheese or peanut butter and low sugar jelly. She likes grapes. So we got some of those. And for breakfast, that's so hard. We have to have something portable. So this morning I sent banana and yogurt. She will eat both of those...sometimes. I told DH that she REALLY needs to see us eating healthy. And we just don't need to have the crap in the house. He agrees. Let's see how this goes.
I have to go to the dentist today. So I had DH leave work early so I could come on in a little earlier. Not only do I hate being behind at work, but I really hate having to stay late to make up time. Or use my personal time. Just not worth it. So, in less than an hour, I will be leaving to get drilled. That sounded bad, but you know what I mean.
I got my blood drawn yesterday for my MMR Titer. But I forgot to bring the form the doctor has to fill out. I've been trying to fax it to them but it won't go through. I just don't know when I can drop it by there. I have the dentist today and the ortho tomorrow. And I'm sure Thursday and Friday I will have to take short lunches to make up any time.
Hey, Chantal, where are you? I haven't checked my Google Reader yet today, but I haven't seen a post from you. Hmmm...... Things must be going well with your guy. LOL!
I don't have much to report on the diet and exercise front. Why do I feel so UN-motivated? I've got to get back to it. I just don't know. Of all times, I should be so motivated. It's Fall, it's gorgeous, and I'm about to go back to school. For a HEALTH related field. But then again, when I was in nursing school, I'd sit outside and smoke. Yeah. I've done the planning this week. It shouldn't be hard.
I kind of binged last night. I guess I forgot to mention that before my rant in the above paragraph. After dinner, I just kept grazing. I kept trying to find things to eat. Oh, duh! TOM is coming. I guess I knew that, but didn't put two and two together last night. I didn't listen for Th'Angela. In fact, I think, just like my cell phone, I turned that connection off after work. Hmmmm!!! There ya have it. I'll try better today. TOM can't stop me.
I went to KimQuilt's blog just now. It let me pull it up...YAY! Then I typed my comment and was about to put in the security code. I realized there was no security code. There was a spot for it, but nothing in the box. So I couldn't leave a comment. I'm not super computer savvy. And Kim, I don't even know what Firefox is. So, for those of you who don't get comments from me, please know I'm reading and thinking about you. I don't have a problem on all blogs, just some.
I will be so glad when Wednesday afternoon gets here. I have to go to a doctor today, tomorrow and Wednesday. I hate going. I hate even more spending my lunch hour that way. Today I go to get blood drawn. I need a titer showing I have the MMR Immunization. School requires a shot record and I have no idea where to get that. So, the titer will do. Then tomorrow it's the dentist to get the old filling replaced....and get a new one on the tooth next to it that was damaged from the old filling. Then Wednesday, it's back to the ortho. UGH! But it all has to be done. So whatever.
I made Noodles' Blueberry Gingerbread muffins this weekend. I can't put in a link due to the trouble I've been having loading blogs. But these were so good.
I also got my crockpot ready for some Creamy Chicken and brown rice. That's dinner tonight. Tomorrow, I'm just having grilled cheese and tomato soup. YUM! Then Wednesday will be pork chops and some sort of veggie. Thursday will be Crockpot Cheeseburger Soup. Then Friday is pizza night. I also grilled some chicken on the George Forman grill. This will be for next week when we have Buffalo Chicken Soup. Thanks Shell-Ellie. That Crockpotting blog is awesome. Unfortunately, yet again, I can't leave a link. And I'm not sure the exact web site. Shelley posted it in a comment she left on my blog last week. Or the week before. Sorry! I think it's www.crockpot365.blogspot.com. Lots of good stuff!
Well, we are going to have actual Fall temperatures this week. I'm so excited. I love the crisp air. However, today, I walked out in capris and flip flops. Let's just say that I was a little chilly in the 54 degree morning! If I didn't have to get gas, I would have stopped by Starbucks for a NonFat Pumpkin Spice Creme. I just discovered these last week and they are amazing. I don't like coffee at all, so it was nice to find something other than hot chocolate that I can drink there!
You know, I'm gettting soft, folks. I'm sure I weigh the same as before. But it's because I'm losing muscle and gaining fat. Me no likey. I've gotten so lax lately. Since my knee really started acting up again. I can preach how this is NOT all or nothing, but I really need to believe it. I need to follow it!
I don't have to run three times a week to be fit. It's like I can't run, so I don't want to do anything. When I'm able to run, I get so motivated. I do my Firm DVDs. I was seeing results in that area. But now that I can't run, I don't feel like doing anything.
I am not sure that I could make it through my Firm DVDs. I don't think my knee could handle the tall box climb and the squats and lunges. But I could still be doing abs and upper. I don't like working my legs anyway. They are already big. (Yes, some fat, but there's a lot of muscle there too.)
So, I need to get back in the swing of things. I did go grocery shopping yesterday. We spent $300. How crazy is that. That's pretty much dinners for one week and then lots of lunch stuff. Of course, I got Tatum's Halloween costume there. $14.99...Cinderella. We had to get toilet paper, shampoo, body wash, and things like that. So there were other items than just food. But I was just astounded at the total. DH & I said that we weren't going out to eat at all this week!
Oh, our 9 year wedding anniversary is coming up on the 17th. I called my mom yesterday. She said she's babysit Tatum. She's letting her spend the night on the 18th. (We very rarely have a babysitter.) DH & I are going to....yeah, you guessed it.... The Melting Pot. That's what I decided to use my birthday money on. My mom was a little disappointed because she said what she gave me, she wanted me to use strictly on myself. I told her that I am. I really want The Melting Pot, but I can't go alone. I'm so excited.
Oh, and guys, I haven't been able to leave many comments lately. It is taking so long to load each individual's page for some reason. At work and at home. I'm trying, though. But this may have to be a wash. I may have to start over on Google Reader. I do apologize. I am reading what's up with y'all!
I got my acceptance letter yesterday from Little College. Now I just need to work on the list of things that they need. I also heard from a co-worker who is in school that there are issues with student loans because of the economy! Great! Oh well!
It's Friday and I'm so glad. I have my grocery list all ready. I will stop on my way home from work. I have my meals planned for next week. I think I'm good to go.
If Tatum has good behavior in school today, we are going to Chuck E. Cheese tomorrow. We made a deal that if she had good behavior all week, we'd go. Well, so far she has. But leave it to her to mess it up on the last day. Hopefully not. Have a little faith, Angela. I'd like to say that I'd just get the salad bar. But, no, their salad bar consists of lettuce, cheese, and dressing. It sucks. I will get a salad to go with my pizza. And I plan on eating two slices of pizza. It should be a fun trip. If you like hyper kids, and all.
Have a great weekend! Yeah, I know...I don't really have anything to say today.
