I think that I am my own worst enemy.    Somewhere in the back of my head  I think there is a fat girl wanting to stay in the foreground.  I'm going to name her * YAK*.   Yak is very pushy,  She likes to be in control.  She is very good at pushing the want's into my head.  Yak thinks that nothing taste good without sugar on it.  She loves Ice cream, and even dreams about it.  She doesn't drink any water or get out and excercise.  YAK is standing in front of my efforts to lose weight.  It is time for her to go.  I know I can do better than her.  . Who needs someone that doesn't encourage you in your fight to lose weight and to get healthy.  I'm Sorry Yak, But you are out of my life. 

No I haven't lose my mind,   I just have to get my head in the right frame of mind.  Somewhere is all this negative thoughts that keep getting in my way of losing my weight.  It seems like such a impossible goal sometimes that i get discouraged.  It's hard to do this day in and day out.   I wonder sometimes if it is all worth it.  But then I look into my granddaughters eyes and know that I want to be able to keep up with her.  She is just learning to walk and I don't want her to think of me as her fat grandma.  I want to go and play with her and not feel like it is taking all my effort to do it.  That is going to be my goal for now.   I am going start my walking and excercise today.  If not to lose weight , to at least get in the best shape that I can.   For me and for her.  That's my pep talk for now.  

I feel like i'm back in the groove. My   WI   this Morning showed a 2 1/2 pound lose.  I haven't had that kind of lose in a very, very long time.  I'm still doing the same thing as always.  It just seems like your body sometimes takes a little time to show all your efforts.  I'm learning to not let it get me down if I don't lose some weeks.  If you just keep on  with what you know works for you, It will come off. 

Sometimes Its hard not to get impatient.  I want the weight to come off as easy as it goes on.  Guess what?  It doesn't happen that way.  Slow and steady - Wins the Race.   I have to remind myself that I am in this for the long haul.  I just want to make the Haul a lot lighter to pack around.  I sometimes think of losing as a short term goal.  Those are the days that I have got to remind myself that this has got to be a life time goal.  Sometimes it gets discouraging to think that I'm going to have to watch my weight for the rest of my life.  But then again,  What is the alternative?  I'm not willing to just sat on the sidelines and let life go by.  I want to be part of the life out there.  I want to experience new and exciting things, and I cant' do that if I am too fat and old to even want to.  I refuse to get old,  Old is going to have to pull me into it, kicking and screaming.   I'm not going to go into it sitting on my butt.  I just refuse. 

Have been walking my 2 miles pretty good this week.  I'm either going to up my mileage to 3 miles or start riding my bike 3 time a week.  I haven't decided yet.  I've been looking for a good place to ride.  I haven't found anywhere decent to ride except around the neighborhood. I'm going to do some more research on that this week.  Hopefully I'll find a good alternative,  I don't really like riding around the neighborhood.  To much stopping and going. It's hard to get a good work out that way. 

Still very hot and Dry in Midland.  I'm having to get up earlier and earlier to get my walking in.   It would really help if it would cool off a little.  100* is hard on the body.  Of course I don't like the winter either.  I would love for it to be around 75 all the time.  That would be a great temperture to have all the time.  Can you tell Im getting really really tired of the 100* days. 

Thanks kimquilts55, You reminded me that I have got to get back on track.  I haven't been doing so good on my journey.  Haven't been walking at all.  It's too hot if you don't get up early to walk.  I just can't seem to get the motivation to do anything.  I know that I have got to do this.  What is the alternative.  Get old and fat.  I don't want to be that way.  I know that I can do better. 

I've always had a hard time at motivation.   I do alright for a while, and then it just seems like I just don't want to think about it.   I think I need to have something to work toward.  I don't mean anything material, I know it sounds odd, but I feel like I need something in my heart and head to work towards.  I really don't know if that makes any sence or not.  People say to give yourself rewards when you reach a certain goal.  But I'm not a very material person.  So I feel like it needs to be something  else.  I don't know, maybe I'm being silly.

Starting today I'm going to try to walk at least 4 times this week.  I know that is not enough, but it is more than I'm doing now. 

Weight is still the same.  So at least I haven't gained.  Company is all gone, so maybe I can get back on schedule.  If it would cool off It would be a lot easier to get my walks in.  It has been above 100* all week.. And it doesn't look like it's going it get much cooler.  This week it is suppose to be high 90's or 100 all week. 

Well I didn't do to good with my goal for May, So this is a new Month and I'm going to keep working on the same goals.  I know that if i can stick with these goals it will help me with my weight goal.

Water -----80 to 100 Oz a Day   

C25K -----  Still on Week One

Walking ---2 Miles on the days I don't work on C25K

TOM's this week, So I am not going to weigh in until Friday. I am going to give my mind a break.  I know if I way in now that there will probably be a weight gain and I don't think I could take that. At least mentally. Expecially if is just because of TOM.  I think not weighing in until friday will give me the incentive to work even harder this week to lose. 

We have had company for a week and will for another week.  I always find that it is harder to do good in my eating when there are other people here.  When you have to cook for other people it is hard to cook as healthy. Not everyone wants to eat chicken and veggies as much as I do.  Hopefully it won't work against me having extra company.  They may have to just start eating what I do or make for thier self.  I am bound and determined not to gain weight this week. 

Finally a loss of  1 1/2  Pounds, instead of the usual 1/2 pound loss.  I was so excited when the scales said 196 pounds.  I had to get back on the scale one more time.  I thought I had read it wrong.   Nope it still said 196 pounds.  I know that it's not a great big lose, but lately I have been staying the same weight or only losing 1/2 pound a week.  I am very excited to see a larger lose.   About time.  I needed that to keep my motivation going.  I know that I can do this.  I just need to keep on keeping on..It's a slow prosess ,but I am doing it.  A little at a time.  But at least the scales are going in the right direction.  Thanks scales.

I'm really going to work on my water intake this week.  I've been slacking off a little on drinking all my water.  I would like to get back up to about 80 oz. a day.  I've been depending on Iced tea to much.  I've got to get back to the water.  I do love very cold water.  My habit lately is to put my water bottle in the freezer for about 30 minutes until it starts to freeze around the edges and then braking up the ice.  It keeps my water cold while i'm walking.    It really helps when the temperture around here had been around 100 degrees. 

Walking is going pretty good.  I still haven't started the c25k yet.  I just can't seem to get it going..  Hopefully this month I can start.    Always seem to be one thing or another getting in the way. 

I've looking for some good shoes.  I can't seem to find anything that works on my feet very good.  I have wide feet and at seems that a lot of the shoes rub on my little toe.  I have always had trouble finding the right shoes that won't hurt my toe.  And one with a good arch in them.  I can't believe some of the shoes out there that have no support in them, but are suppose to be walking or running shoes.  Maybe some people don't need arch support, but I know that I do.  If anyone had any idea of a good walking or running shoe that might work on my feet, I would really appreciate any advise.

I'm off to walk, with my frozen water.

1/2 Pound is losing, but I would really like to see a 2 pound gone.  It seems like it is taking forever to lose the weight.  I know that that is the way you are suppose to lose, a little at a time.  But just once lately I would love to see more than 1/2 pound or 1 pound lose in a week.  It would be a lot more encouragement to see a bigger lose.  Trust me I will take the 1/2 pound, Maybe next week it will be a larger number.

I really need to find more exercises to do now that it is so hot here.  It's been over 100 the last couple of days.  There is no way that I can get out and walk in that heat.   The only way is to get up early,early,early. and I'm not a morning person. 

Off to drink my water.

I can't believe that i'm letting the food get the best of me.  I have been eating stuff that I know isn't good for me.  I just seem to go thru this slump every once in a while.  Where I just get tired of eating right and want a good greasy hamburger and Dr. Pepper.   It's just so easy to slack off and not get back on track.  I need to stay accountable for what I eat.   It just so hard.  I know what I have to do. Now I just Need to do it.  No more slacking off.   Get back on track.  You don't want to be over 200 again.  Quit  the Neg. attitude and get out and move your butt.  Okay, I think I'm better.  

After not losing Friday on my official weight Day.  I Decided to sneak a peak today.  Down  ONE  pound.  Thank You very much.  My motivation was getting low after not losing last week.  I slacked off at the beginning of last week, but after not losing I really worked hard this weekend on getting my exercise and water in.  Did pretty good.  Now I just need to keep up my momentum.   I'm going to put this one pound down now,  It's going to be my motivation to stay on track this week.  I Can Do it. 

Lots of house work in the works today.  So that should keep me busy and not snacking.  That  is one of mjy downfalls,  Mindless snacking when I'm not busy.  

Yes, I stayed the same.  At least it is still under 200.  I really slacked off this week.  I did get my water in.  But I couldn't seem to get my walks in. Only walked 3 times this week and I can really tell.  Not just the no lose, but My legs and back have been really stiff.  TOM was here this week, so I'm going to blame it on that.  It couldn't be me.  Now to get my mind back in the game and My butt in gear.  Off to walk.

Hello, Onederland!!!!!!!!!!   I'm Back and Here to Stay!!!!  How dare you throw me out of Onederland.  It may have happened once,  But I am not going to let it happen again.  Onderland you were very sneaky, but I am on to you now and I know how to beat you.  You can't get rid of me. I am tougher than you.

It feels so good to be out of the 200's again.  I began to think that my scales didn't know how to go down.  They still don't want to go down as fast as I would like but at least they are going in the right direction.   I can't believe how easy and fast it was to put on the weight.  I spent last year taking care of everyone else and their never ending drama's that I Forgot to put me and my  health first.  It was just so much easier to eat comfort food , which to me are always very high in calories and fat, than to eat what I know is right for me.   I think, i just became so tired and wore down that I took the easy way.  I know from experience that I can't do that.   I know if I don't exercise and walk that my weight will go up.  I just lost sight of that for a little while.  Can't do that again.   I feel like I am back where I want to be Mentally and Now I just need to keep working on getting  back to where i want it to be physically. 

First goal  --- Onederland   -----   DONE

MAYS GOALS

180 -   I can do it if i reallly, really  work hard.

C25K  -  Never ran before, so should be interesting.

100 oz. Water -- Everyday,  Not just now and than.

Arm Exercise  -  Upper arms never lose much there.  Does anyone have any upper arm exercise that are good?  I have very fat upper arms.  I just can't seem  to  get rid of it.  

Upper thighs  exercise  -  Same as upper arms.  Have a hard time getting off weight there.  Any Ideas would be appreciated. 

Youngest daughter graduates from high school May 31st.  I'm  looking forward to being 180 by the time she graduates.  That is my next biggest goal.  I'm  going to make it First priority.   I am so happy to be under 200.