Though it was something I was aware of before I even got into nursing school that I would likely have to work shift work. Though I didn't really shift work would be so disruptive to this lifestyle I am trying to lead. Right now I am switching to nights after a few day shifts, and now have realize that this will have to be one of the days I cheat a little. It is rally the only day I feel real temptation to eat more than I know I should. I always try to stay up a little later this night to help switch over which means i end up snacking. Since I have always felt like you need to treat yourself a little so you don't fall off and feel guilty. I have decided that this day will be that day for me. I feel that if I am aware of this and plan for this ahead of time, I can be sure to have an option that is a real treat, satisfying however not have so much of it around that I overindulge.
On my actual night shift I end up playing around with the time of my meals and I do not snack throughout the night as I tend not to feel great if I do. Meals have been hard lately since its been the holiday here and vie been working 12 hours I have yet to find a time to go to the grocery store to really stock up on good stuff. I ended up going for subway which i know is good, and the sub I get has no sauce so that's even better, I really want to start really learning how to prepare my own food and learn how to cook healthier option.
So true but yet it is something everyone does. Eating when you are bored, angry, stressed has become a way to cope to many people. I know this is true for myself, I usually eat out of boredom, though today I learned that I also eat like others, when someone else gives you an excuse to.
Today we were brought in donuts from a co worker, and everyone else was eating them and it is just hard to sit back and watch. I did end up eating a donuts, however on the positive side, I only had a small piece just to satisfy that urge that everyone else had given into. For me this is a big step, if i would have said no, i likely would have had a hard time not to stop on the way home to get one for myself, and usually i could easily eat 1-2 on my own along with many other treats throughout the day.
Overall though I would have to say I did great eating, following a meal plan I followed back in January when I signed up for Simply For Life. I found it a great program that gave me meal plans and guidelines, and I never felt deprived following the meal plans. They were all normal meals in proper portions. I would love to have continued there but I needed something more, they dealt with nutrition information and I knew mostly everything they had taught me as I teach my own patients that same info. I liked have a meal plan made for me, with my busy job and life, not having to thinks about meals was great, but I needed more of a personal trainer, someone who who push me and motivate me holistically.
I am hoping between my family as well as through this blog I can find the support I am looking for to keep me going through this journey, No matter what ups and downs I may come to along the way.
I just cant stay this way. I am a 24 year old 213lb Nurse and This is not how I want to live my life. At this age I should not be feeling so tired. Every waking moment of the day I just feel like crawling back into bed and sleeping. My energy is low, and its not from any medical issue other than this extra 75-ish pounds I am carry around with me all day. I don't always feel like crawling back into bed because of being tired, if its not that then its because friends want to go shopping and I don't feel like it because I cant fit into much of the stuff that they sell at any regular stores, or many other reasons ( I know many of you can relate)
So how did I get this way?
Well its a pretty boring same old story. I wasn't a small child growing up, though not big either. By the time I graduated high school I was pretty active, and weighed about 150lbs. I could live being 150lbs again. after high school, there was university, first year was great and I manage not to gain any weight at all. Second year a totally different story, I probably gained 20lbs or so in my second year, that was the year I lived out of the dorm with my roommate and my BF, making our own food and our own bad choices. After that it was all downhill, now 2 years out of university i weigh 213lbs. At the beginning of the year I did lose 20lbs from 212 to 192, but managed to gain that all back since my Vacation to the DR which I gained weight there (not all 20lbs) but had a hard time getting on track since the summer.
Whats Different?
I was really starting to notice a difference after losing the 20lbs but didn't really start noticing the difference until I put that weight all back on. Im on the same track to becoming like my family member, and I dont want to live that way, or end up with diabetes, or other health issues, and I am on the right track for that life if I don't do something about it now.
Support?
I've got almost all the support I need and what I dont have I'll just have to learn to live without. My sister has been great support and encouragement. And my BF would do anything with me fitness wise. But he is a 24 year old boy and he eats like one. I try to encourage him, but until he knows what its like to be bigger and feel unhealthy there is no point trying to change. He is supportive enough to not try to get me to eat poorly, though he does continue to eat poorly himself. I can live with that, Im am focused on me and that's the important thing right now.
