Is what I try to tell myself before I overeat or binge eat.
Why do I let something as simple as food have that much control over me?
I hate it!
I want to be in control again! I really want to do this!
I am starting to realize that this journey is becoming harder and harder!
Why can't it be easy? I wish it was easy well at least a little easier than it is!
I was doing so good for the week up until yesterday night. I can't go on like this. Something has got to give. Yesterday's binge was my fault. I knew I was going to be gone for the entire day and I didn't pack enough for breakfast and lunch. So by the time I got home (around 6 pm) I was starving and I almost ate everything in site! I know bad. Next week I have class for a whole week and I can't let what happend yesterday happen again! Well I do have some good news from yesterday. I passed my class/test So I'm happy with that!
I NEED ONE OF THESE! LOL
Week after week. I try my hardest to stay on plan and exercise only to have a little to show for it! Losing a half a pound here and half a pound there! I know it's a lost but I'm tired of it I am. I want to be a big loser! At least 2 poundsor more would satisfy me! After working hard all week and don't really have nothing to show for it is discouraging! I'm surprised that I'm still trying. I often remind myself and look at my list of reasons why I want to lose weight to help me stay in this game!
I'm stating to think more and more WW's is not for me. (Maybe if I would stay on program I would notice more change) I love their theory but for some reason the weight is not coming off the way that it should or should I say the way that I want it to! Anyhow the only reason why I am still there is because every week I force myself to go to meetings and I still manage to lose some weight even if its a point this or point that! I have decided to go by a new plan and which I won't mention until I have some results. I started today. I just want to see how it goes for about a week and If I'm successful I will mention it then. I think I will still go to the WW's meeting for support. I like my leader and the people that I have/am becoming friends with. We will see.
I'm not giving up I have too much weight to lose. So I have to continue to hang in there. My exercise has been slipping lately. Yesterday I didn't wake up early enough to exercise before I went to class and by the time I got home I was too tired to exercise. So it didn't get done! Today I 'm suppose to run/walk. Simply I just don't feel like doing it! I know I need to because if I skip out on my training I'll never get better, tomorrow is a rest day maybe I'll do it tomorrow. I need my motivation back! It is starting to disappear!
Well I'm tired of typing and plus I have a few things to do. Where is EVERYBODY? I hope everyone is still hanging in there and they haven't given up! Until next time much love!
I don't know why but it seems like it is taking forever to get there. I just new at todays 's weigh in I was going to be under 200. They say slow and steady wins the race so thats what I got to keep telling myself to stay in this game.
So now my weight is 200 even. I lost a whole .4, lol. They eventually add up so I'll take it , it's better than nothing. At least I'm going in the right direction! Right? I try to keep in mind that I am doing strength training.
Anywho last week I was doing well and stayed within all my goals until Saturday. It was like a switch has just turned off to not care anymore. I didn't exercise and I didn't track my points. Sunday was a rest day so I was off the hook on not exercising but then again I didn't track my points and I had a binge session before the night was over. Why the hell did I do that right before weigh in? Is beyond me. Hopefully this week I will stick it out. so for the exception of my mishpas on Sat. & Sun. I had an okay week. I've got to do better.
Today was my usual day to run outside , however it was raining at the end of the meeting and I had my daughter with me so I didn't want to put her through that. Hopefully I'll have a chance to run outside on Wednesday! SO to not make any excuses, as soon as I got home I hopped on the treadmill. I didn't even go in the house. ( Treadmill is located in the garage!) Because I knew if I did I would start doing things around the house and then would have eventually put my exercising to the side and possibly end up not exercising at all. ( Thats was happened on Saturday!) Anywho I did 40 min of on the treadmil ran 3 min speed of 5.0/ walked 2 min speed of 3.5 for a I total of 30 min, plus a 10 min warm-up and cool down. I burned 430 cals! I also did my 200 crunches on a stability ball and 20 pushups! So a total of 460 cals burned.
I feel pretty good and I'm glad that I got my exercise out of the way for the day. I really need to get myself back together as far as waking up early enough to exercise before my day gets started. It really makes things a lot easier. I honestly don't know how I'm going to do it when I go back to work. I would have to be to weork at 7( I prefer 6:30 am, so I could get a head start on things). I just can't see myself waking up at 4 or 4:30 just to exercise. Then I know I won't have time to exercise when I get home. Won't get home to around 8:30 or later. Plus who wants to exercise on their days off? I know I would be swamp with different errands. Anyhow I guess I better figure it ou soon, and just make the sacrifice, plus I'm worth it!
This month is going to be so busy! I'm taking a few refresher courses due to the fact that I've been out of work for so long. It's not necessary but I know it would look damn good on my resume and I won't have problems getting a job. Next week I have class for the whole week from 9-5. I really don't know how I'm going to do it. Then the last week in March me and DH are taking a Real Estate Class to become realtors. (Something to do on the side) . Plus I hope we can be good at it so then he wouldn't have to work away! I just took CPR on Sat, and have to take another course tomorrow which is 8 hours long and about an hour drive away! So I will be busy busy busy. Next month will be a busy month as well, but I don't think it will be as bad. I plan to go back to work before that month is over but I might just wait until my B-Day passes so I know I will be off, Lol!
Anyhow lets make this week a better week. My goals are still the same and I hope and pray that I will see onderland next week! You all be good! until next time much love!
Is the question I often ask myself and I have so many reasons why.
Is all the reasons worth it? Hell Yeah!!
I want to lose weight because......
* Overall I want to be healthy and happy!
* I want to feel good and look good. ( Well I already do, but I want it to the 10th power, lol)
* I want to fit into a size 7/8 or 9/10 (Still undecided I was in between both sizes when I was at the weigiht of 160 in the past, so I would like to be just one size)
*I want to improve my sex life . Yes I said it being overweight does make a difference well to me, anyways. I was an animal when me and DH first got back together and I would like that animal in me to return, LOL.
*Last but not least I would like to fit into my dream wedding dress! I know some of you are confused and asking arent you already married? Yes but when me and DH got married we decided that it was more important to purchase a house then to have a wedding ceremony so we agreed to have a ceremony after we reach 5 years! So I basically have about a year and 4 months to go. Although I have plenty of time I decided to get started on my goal now being that I want to be healthy is most important!
I still havent picked a particular dress but I do like these two styles.
I have about 40.4 more pounds to lose. I originally wanted to lose all my weight before the end of June but due to my several ups and downs. I don't think that it will happen by that date but if it does I will be happy! So my first mini goal is to reach 185 by April 26 which is my birthday. I'm 15.4 pounds away so if I lose 2 pounds a week I should make it, but we will see. So now my total goal of 50 pounds has been pushed to July 14 which I will also have to lose 2 pounds a week! I know it is probably crazy to have set goals like that but if I stay consistent. I know I can do it. I have hopes of reaching my goal by July 9 which is my 4 year anniversary and me and DH are planning on going on a cruise so I would love to be able to wear and look good in a bathing suit! I can't wait the last time I was on a cruise was in 2006 and I had so much fun and I know this year will be even better! We just haven't decided on where to go does anyone have any suggestions. Oh and does anyone have any suggestions on places to go for our honeymoon?
This week has been a a good week so far. I've met all my daily goals. One day I did go over my points due to the fact that I misread a label but I only went over by 4 points so I deducted it from my weekly allowance points. Some days I even ate before 6 which is usually hard for me. My exercise has been great as well. Today was a weight training day. I worked out my legs, triceps, shoulders, traps & neck. I included 15 min on the elliptical and my infamous 200 crunches and 20 pushups. I burned a total of 425 cals. I actually look forward to running tomorrow. The only thing that I wasn't able to do this week was to run outside. I didn't list it as a goal this week because I knew it wasn't going to happen. However next week I will be able to run outside at least once and I can't wait. I hope to have a good weigh in on Monday, but we will see.
I feel like I've been away for to long, I've missed you all. I have so much to update you all on. I don't know where to start, but I will try to make it brief!
I've been so busy because me and DH decided to spruce up our house a bit We remade our Master Bath and Master Bedroom. It is so beautiful. I have to show you all pictures. We finally also updated our loft area with a reclinging sectional and a flat screen tv. I love it it is my new hang out spot, plus the computer is in that room, lol. Last but not least we finally furnished our Breakfast Nook. I mean does a house really need two eating areas and two living room areas? Anyhow let me stop complaining,I love my house I just never look forward to cleaning it!
I finally decided to pick up a few clothes for myslef, just because I plan to lose weight doens't mean I have to look bad during the process. I picked up a few pants and shirts. I finally know my size whcih is a 16? However I still don't think that is the true size because they fit really loose. I probably could suqeeze in a 14 but I know my stomach is probably still to big. So my NSV is a size 16 pants fit loosely and I need to wear a belt.
So doing this caused us to be out believe it or not everday since DH has been home! Going to bed late nights and waking up early. He left back for work so everythhing is back to normal. Now I can get back focused!
Last week I was so terrible, I should be ashame of myself. I didn't track my points and I pretty much ate whatever. I didn't exercise like I planned. I only exercised one day last week and that was forced. That was one of my 5K training days, I took DH along with me and we ran/walked at a different park and it was a challenge. My DH now has respect for runners now and agrees that running outside is so much more difficult than runniong on a treadmil! He had an eye opener!
Despite how bad I was last week I went to my WW's meeting on Monday and was surprised to see a loss of .6. I was so happy to see that number because I just knew I gained back the weight I lost the week before! That really encouraged me to hang in there and to get back on track!
I have discovered that it is really dfifficult to stay on track when DH is around but I know I can't blame my weakness on him, so I'm trying to learn how to stay on track and stay focused while he is here. He pissed me off on my first day trying to get back on track! Although I stayed within my points and got all my water in I hadn't exercised.(It was already 8pm) I could have easily said I'll make up for it later but I got onthe treadmill anyway! Monday was a 5K training day. I knew if I was ever going to get any better that I needed not to skip anymore days! I tried to get on and start running and planned to keep going just to see how long and how far I could run. Big mistake I probably should have warmed up first. I only lasted 3 min! Insn't that pitiful? Anyhow later that night my DH and I got into an argument just because he was in a hurry to move some furniture around and was mad that I decided to exercise first. Why would you get mad at me over something so silly? It's not like the furniture was going anywhere! Men! You can't live with them, you can't live without them. I didn't let him take my joy away. I was glad I worked out and I decdied to no longer let him get in the way of my goals even if I have to put myself first at times!
So this week my goals are the usual
Exercise 5 days a week. 200 crunches and 20 pushups(everyday) Three of those days are my 5K training days. The other two days will consisit of 30 -40 min of weight training and 15 min on the elliptical.( I already exercised 3 of those days)
Drink 96 oz of water a day( 12 cups)
Eat within weight watchers points. (Which I have lowered to 25) I think the 29 before was to much. We shall see.
Eat 5 or more servings of fruits/veggies
No Eating after 7pm
Lose 2.4 pounds! I really hope to be in onderland once and for all, and for good!)
So far I have kept all my daily goals. I have a good feeling about this week!
Oh yeah TOM finally decided to pack his bags and leave yesterday! That has to be some sort of record. Of course by then I was no longer in the mood. DH was a lil pissed but got over it because I made up for it the best way I know how! Lets just say I sent him back to work feeling right!Anyhow I hope all this breakthrough bleeding is over because I have had more than enough!
As for my workout today. I ran(3 min)/ walked(2 min) for 40 min including a 10 min warm-up and cool down. I burned 450 cals! I also did my 200 crunches and 20 push ups. I felt pretty good running today. It is still a little difficult but not as diffiucult as it was when I first started. My goal beforfe my B-Day is hopefully to run 1 mile non-stop! Wish me luck !
I noticed that I'm not the only one that hasn't blogged in awhile. Just remeber it's never too late to get back on track and get your life in order so don't give up! Until next time much love!
I know I havent been around lately. I have been so busy. I have been out and about all day this week. It feels like I actually have a job now! Lol. This is just a quick update.
TOM rageddy(sp) a$$ is STILL here!
So I STILL aint get none! I mean really it's been 12 freakin days! WTF is reall going on?
I STILL been doing what the hell I want to do.
I STILL been eating whatever. I only counted points on Monday, ever since I've been down hill from there.It's hard to stay on track when your away from home. (Yeah I know I'm making excuses) .
I STILL havent exercised since Monday. Yep I know thats bad and I don't even think that day is correct it might be Saturday. So I need to try and make up for all my bad days from today until Sunday. Wish me luck!
Today is a busy day too, we are going to take my Son to Chucky Cheese, take family pictures and get a few targets in. I have a new little friend she is so cuteI call her Betty Sue( Yes I named my toy well its not really a toy but you get the idea!) It's dangerous down here so I'm always prepared! Lol Anyhow I'm sitting under the dryer so I have a few minutes to catch up on a few blogs. If I don't catch up on all of you I will later. I hope everybody is having a great week. Until next time much love!
Okay I think I'm done beating up on myself and feeling sorry for myself. I'm getting back on the wagon slowly but surely!
I decided to go to my Weight Watchers meeting after all. I'm so glad I did because the meeting really hit home for me. I've learned that during the times that you really don't feel like going is the most important time to go!
So I know you all are wondering what my weigh in was . Well I actually,
gotcha I'm not going to tell you just yet.
I want to take the time out and thank all of you who visited me and shared your words of encouragement and support. It really means a lot to me. It let me know that I am not in this alone and that even if we mess up it is okay to start over and to keep going. I have learned to be patient and to take it one day at a time, because that is all we can do and must do! Thanks again, Keisha, Dani, Endurer, Precious, Miranda, and Chunkyfree.
Okay can I get a drum roll please............................................
I know the picture gave it away.
I lost 1.4 pounds. To some I know you are probably like thats not a big deal, but it is to me! I was so happy when I saw that number! I would have been happy to see that I maintained, but to see a lost really made my day.( Not to mention TOM is still here, I wish he would leave already so I could get some! Okay I know TMI) Seeing a lost further let me know to stay encouraged and that my hard work is paying off. Well some of it. I stopped tracking my points when DH came home on Thursday and I kinda went down hill on the eating after that. However I had to have several conversations with myself yesterday and today to not give up, that this feeling will pass. I'm so gald those conversations worked!
Today I had a great workout it was a late workout but all that matters is that I got it done! I did my 200 crunches, 20 pushups, 8 min Abs and Run 3 min/ Walk 2 min. A total of 40 min including a 10 min warmup and cool down. You just don't know how bad I wanted to stop on that treadmill. It was difficult, but I kept going, I kept fighting. I know running will get easier. My stats weren't that great but at least I didn't stop. I just have to realize that my body will take time adjusting to the new habit.
Total Time Spent: 56 mins Total Cals Burned: 443
Tomorrow is a new day. Lets take it one day at a time. I hope everyone has a great week! Until next time much love!
Warning: This is not a positive post so if you are feeling down, I suggest you not read this, unless you are full of positive energy and can offer support and motivation please leave comments because I really could use it!
How do you get up? How do you pick yourself back up again and get back on this journey?
I wish I knew the answer. Right now I must say that I am at a point where I feel like giving up. But I don't want to be a failure or a quiter! Now that I look back at last week. I didn't do that bad but I didn't do all I could do. I didn't stop myself from eating things that I shouldn't. I didn't stop myself from letting my DH's presence effect my eating habits. Im not blaming him because it is not his fault. I just should have been stronger! It seems like eversince he came back home thats when my eating got out of control. I stopped counting points and did whatever the hell I wanted. I must say that my exercise has remained, except for yesterday which is my original rest day but I usually do my crunches and 20 pushups and either pilates or yoga! Today I'm suppose to go running outside and I honestly don't feel like it.
I feel like I have lost all my positive attitude and motivation! It seems like just a minute ago I was so pumped up and ready to take this weight loss journey by storm, but now I feel like a withering tree that has lost all his roots and branches to help stay firm during this storm.
Why is this journey so hard? Why is it so much easier to just let yourself go?
Why did I let myself go in the first place? I know I probably have the right to blame it on my kids but I don't want to because I know my eating and activity wasn't the best while I was pregnant.
I hate feeling like this. I don't want to be negative anymore because it is not helping the situation out! Somehow I really need to get myself together.
I 'm thinking about not going to my WW"s meeting this morning. I really don't want to face the scale and besides I feel that it is not working for me. I feel like I'm waisting money by gaining every week.I wonder if I should just start counting calories? Maybe I'm just not working hard enough. Maybe going to this meeting is exaclty what I need to help me get back focused. I'm really not sure what to do anymore! As you can tell I'm lost as hell right now!
Maybe if I remind myself why I started this journey in the first place, write down all the reasons why I want to lose weight and the positive outcomes it will help me to get back on track. I don't know, I'm trying to talk myself into not giving up maybe it will start working! Well I'm gotta go. I hope this day turns into a positive one! I hope everyone has a good week! Until next time much love!
Yesterday I had the opportunity to go shopping for some clothes thanks to DH. However when it came time to choosing clothes for myself. I didn't want anything, because I knew I wouldn't look right in any of the clothes I liked. I really need to get myself together because that is so not like me. I only walked out with one shirt that I plan on taking pictures in. Myself esteem has went down hill. I really need to get it together and stop feeling sorry for myself.
To those who looked up to me please don't give up on me. I plan on getting myself out of this rut. I just don't know when. Oh yeah let me not forget
TOM is still here! WTF is up with that? It's going on 8 days now! My period has never stayed on that long in fact it usually only last 3-4 days. So I'm pissed I wish he would go F5#$ off some where! Also to the ladies how do you all deal with eating on track while your significant other is still able to do his own thing and really doesn't care about you tyrying to lose weight. I need ideas.
I noticed that last time I posted was just on Thursday but it feels so much longer than that! I feel like I've been gone for a whole week! I guess EP and all my fellow bloggers who are in actuality becoming my friends are starting to grow on me. I really love all the support and encouragement I get from you all, lets keep this thing going! We Can Do It!
Good news first, I finally purchased some running shoes by Brooks. They are so comfortable! I really should have purchased some shoes ealier, but like they say better late than never! Me and DH made it to a running shop. A very nice lady helped us out, she also suggested that my DH get Brooks too as we are both big people and really needed shoes for motion control. I really had my heart set on some Aisics but she is the pro right? I figure once I lose some of this weight then maybe I can switch to another shoe. WE did get a $20 dollar discount on shoes. I found out something new yesterday as well. In order to run in the Boston Marathon you have to first qualify. Isn't that something? I thought any body could run. Well the lady who helped me and DH has qualified. There was a couple in the shop from Toronto and they kept showing off how good of runners they were. I must admit I was a little jealous but I know one day that will be me and DH! ( I think) Anyhow, I don't know if I told you all that my DH decided to join me in my running venture but he is not taking it seriously like I am. You know how men are they think they know everything! So I basically can't tell him nothing. I really hope he doesn't hurt himsefl, hopefully oneday he will realize that I might know what I'm talking about! Lol
Okay now the bad news, my eating has been going down hill since DH has been back! It is so hard to focus when he is home! Maybe I should send him back to work early! Just kidding I just need to get my act together. It's not like he is trying to persuede meto be bad! Infact this morning we both got up at 5:30 to get our workout on! I'm glad he gave me that extra push to get up, because I can't remeber the last time that I woke up that early to exercise. I was looking forward to sleeping in late this mnorning but then I realized I could make up for it later and I did. I slept from like 9 am to 2:30pm. My body was tired so I let it rest! LOL Anyhow I did good on my walk/run. I ran 3min and walked 2. My time has increassed by 5 min so it was a total of 40 min, with 10 min warm-up and cool down! Ialso did 20 min on the elliptical, with my 200 cunches, 20 push-ups, and 8 min abs. SO I got in a really good workout today, now if I could get my eating back to normal I would be okay. I really feel like I let all my hard work as far as eating go in vein, but we will see on Monday! I hope everyone is staying on plan! Have a good weekend! Until next time much love!
Oh yeah thanks for all the music suggestions. I really appreciate it!
Okay so apparently, I'm still having problems pasting a video to the blog. So click on the link above to hear the song and watch the video.
Is anyone else having this problem?
This is my jam! I love this song, it really hypes me up during exercise. Yesterday I lost my motivation to exercise but once I put this song on, I got it back ASAP infact I even put the song on repeat and startede dancing to it! It is a real motivator when it comes to working out. Listen to it if you havent already!
I know you are all thinking what is the point of this post. Well I'm still working on my music playlist for my phone mp3 player. So I'm asking all you out there what gets you hype and motivates you to keep exercising? Wha'ts on your workout playlist? I need ideas I'm open to ALL kinds of music. I like it all. I don't descriminate. So let me know.
Oh I have NSV to report, my DH noticed that I lost wait and gave me several compliments. ALthough I only lost 10 pounds so far I took it and ran with it. Defitnitely inspired me to keep going!
I hope you all are having a good week! Can you believe that it is Thursday already? Until next time much love
Oh yeah nothing still aint go down yet, well not on my behalf But when it do it's gonna be trouble!
Okay maybe not to that extreme. I think I fit under the category moody better. I mean what do you expect TOM is here. He is such a freakin bastard I can't stand him. He know's how show up at the wrong time!
Why am I so angry you ask?
Well as you know my DH works out of state and he is coming home today well actually tomorrow since his stupid a$$ wants to drive instead of fly!
I think I'm moody because it's been a while. I mean a long while since I got some and I'm way overdo! Anyhow so bascially since I know DH is coming home my whole attitude has changed. I got all sorts of things planned! Despite how angry he makes me, I can't stay mad at him for too long. I love that man! Anyhow I just hope I can stay away from the Pitron and the Rum. As it does nothing for my metabolism unless I make up for it! I wonder how many cals you can burn while during this activity? I might just have to put on my Heart Rate Monitor to find out! ( Okay stop it V, you are taking it too far) I'm just kidding, well not really !
I so love this video and song. I mgiht have to do a lil dance to this song. I just might have to break out the heels and the lingerie!
TOM it's time for you to pack your sh%$ and go! I got people(DH) to do and things to see! Lol
Okay I'm way to excited, I think I need to go take a cold shower! Until next time much love
Oh yeah I almost for got this is a weight loss blog, well I did kind of cover the subject if you know what I mean. Anyhow I still havent exercised. Yesterday I ended up eating 4 of my weekly allowance points. No big deal. Today I plan on having an OP day and I'm about to go get my workout on now!
Hey I want to take a poll! Which song do you like best! Which ever one gets the most votes. That is the one I will do my lil routine for! Okay I'm out for real! I'll be back later!
HAPPY FREAKIN WEDNESDAY!
Edited EP is trippin as usual for some reason the videos are not posting to my blog so you have to click on the links in order to see the videos!
I know bad. Next week I have class for a whole week and I can't let what happend yesterday happen again! Well I do have some good news from yesterday. I passed my class/test So I'm happy with that!
. Yes I said it being overweight does make a difference well to me, anyways. I was an animal when me and DH first got back together and I would like that animal in me to return, LOL. 
I still havent picked a particular dress but I do like these two styles.
Anyhow I just hope I can stay away from the Pitron and the Rum. As it does nothing for my metabolism unless I make up for it! I wonder how many cals you can burn while during this activity? I might just have to put on my Heart Rate Monitor to find out! ( Okay stop it V, you are taking it too far) I'm just kidding, well not really !