Body Perception
Just came back from Rio and the airplane security belt that once cut deep into me almost making me crave an extension had a spare 20-25 cm. I stared at it in disbelief for hours.
Also people are faaaar fatter than I used to notice. Isn't this weird? Skinnies have vanished! I used to think everyone was skinny with the exception of the few ones bigger than me whom were well, not skinnies. Now, with the exception of a few annorexics -the mister included- I've lost the normals! Everyone is overweight or obese. I hope I don't turn into one of them nasty reformed obeses that has something against fat people!!!!
How I used to avoid entering clothing stores... Or -gasp- trying
anything on. I know I'm nowhere near the goal weight but just the other week I found myself buying not one but two
dresses for dinging on a business trip and it took me two hours of
twirling in my size 12 and my size 14 (one more fitted over my big bum)
before I could part with them enough to have them wrapped and bought.
Crazy! Surreal. I remember walking out of there going "uh-oh this can
spell ruin, look at all these pretty little colourful things I would
have never seen before!".
Oh and to top it in how surreal it is, not really connected but body
image stuff, the hotel of the place I was in had one of them oversized
big mirrors that used to be the enemy. For the first time in my adult
life I looked at myself and thought "hmmmm not bad. Not perfect and
wobbly nasty bits galore but not bad at all!"
And I'm approaching both breaking the kg psychological barrier of "under 90" which will put me at the lowest weight since the 9th grade in highschool and that of under 200 lbs. Next week should be it.