Falling off the Wagon
I am still SoleSourcing and have thankfully not yet fallen once in the past 15 weeks.
However, the mister reached his goal and is working up the steps and
right away we noticed a few things. The second food was introduced
(AAM, 810, 1000) he has become far more hungry, which is natural and
expected as he exited ketosis. Right afterwards he reintroduced solid
carbohydrates. And it's when he not only gets hungry but nearly
incontrollable cravings for all things starchy and sugary.
Yesterday he confessed to entering a store with the intention to buy
candy. He has resisted and after reading packs and so on, has walked
out without having cheated but it offered us the occasion to discuss it
(well after I went down from the high horse of how disappointed in him
I, his anti-food-addiction-ad-hod-sponsor am)
We realized (well I did, he agreed, shamed and worried) that there is a
difference between the potential cheating inductive situations. E.g.:
Situation A: Dieting, 100%, struggling and then one Saturday evening,
peer pressure at a party makes you take "just one sip, it won't kill
you" from the beer/wine/cake in front of you and then another one and
another one because you couldn't stop yourself.
Situation B: Dieting, 100%, struggling and then you dream of how you
will go downstairs to the local cafe and buy a glass of beer/wine or a
bag of candy/your favorite cake. You think of the action, you imagine
it, the going, the money paid, the taste of that cheat and then you
walk there, pick it up, eat/drink it.
Both possible, both supposingly "just a cheat so forget it and carry
on", right? Well we disagree. I think there is a difference between an
accident-cheat (Situation A) and a premeditated cheat (Situation B). Of
course one should get back on the horse after both but on the
Premediated Cheat there was more than just overwhelming lust, there was
a subconscient need to sabotage your previous efforts, a secret
masochistic wish to punish yourself for something and it's important to
figure out what that something was and why you'd want yourself down and
kicked to prevent doing it again.
So not to preach but maybe this helps someone.... if you fall of the
wagon, by all means put it behind you and carry on but maybe you can
spend a second and wonder if it was A or B and why was it that it was B
for, know what I mean?
Personally I intend to tell myself that Situation A is excusable and should be jumped over with no second thought but Situation B is reprehensible and should be analyzed in detail!