| Height: | |
| Start weight: | 283.00lb |
| Current weight: | 276.00lb |
| Goal weight: | 180.00lb |
| Lost to date: | 7.00lb |
| Remaining: | 96.00lb |
| 22 |
| November '08 |
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"The greatest glory in living lies not from never falling, but from rising every time we fall."
~ Nelson Mandela
This is one of my favourite quotes and has become my own personal motto! I think it applies to every individual in any and every situation! We should not pride ourselves on being at the top, but rather the route we take to get there!
It has been 14 months since I last logged on to extrapounds.com!
In that time so much has changed!
The changes include:
I moved to Australia to attend school and obtained my Graduate Diploma of Education. I got engaged. I moved back to Canada, but moved to a new town with my fiance, over 2 hours away.
But, with all those changes, one thing stayed the same: my weight!
That being said, it is time for a change!
I am a new and improved person and I vow to continue improving myself, mentally, emotionally, and physically!
Throughout the last couple of days I have been careful in choosing my food. Although I haven't been rigid in my selection, (because that's what made me fail previously), I have been conscious in my decisions!
It's a small step, but I'm happy about it!
I'm back!
I was reading over some of my previous posts, and although I can sense an attempt at staying positive, there is a definate negative undertone in them!
Right now I am sitting at my heaviest weight to date, and something needs to be done!
Over the last couple of months I have sunk into a state of self-pity and loathing, and it needs to change!
Everyone always says that "you have to take time for yourself", so that's what I did ... but I forgot to do it in a positive manner! Then, people say "you need to get active", so that's what I did ... but I attempted too much too soon, so I became discouraged!
This is my problem: I listen to other people too much!
From now on, I am doing things MY way!
I am going to loose weight the way I want to! I am going to exercise and stay active the way I want to! I am going to live my life the way I want to!
This is my life, and I need to remember that I am the one, (and the only one), that can make the changes needed to be the person I know I am!
Since the last time I posted I have found out that I am suffering from an illness/injury!
Since birth, I have suffered from a heart disorder, but it has recently been causing me more problems than even I am used to!
I stopped exercising a while ago because of my left leg. Anytime that I am on it for more than 15 or 20 minutes, it starts throbbing, and if I don't sit down with my leg elevated than it goes completely numb!
Knowing that this is a problem, I finally got myself to the Doctor, only to discover that I have not one, but two, blood clots in my leg!
Unfortunately, because my heart is not stable enough, I cannot undergo the typical medication that is normally prescribed for someone in my condition, so I am currently on a low-dose medication, and am having to go back to the Doctor every week for monitoring, to ensure that I don't have to go for surgery! (Which I really can't do, seeing as how my work wont allow me to take time off ... even for medical reasons!)
Anyways ... the reason that I haven't posted in so long is because of everything else that has been going on! I was just discouraged and in a negative place and didn't want to pass that on to anyone else!
... but I am back now!
I know from personal experience that negativity does nothing but slow a person down! Although it doesn't help to be negative and whine and complain about one's struggles, I feel like that is all I can do right now! Positivity is just one big lie for me right now!
Although I haven't gained any weight in quite some time, I haven't lost any either! On top of that, when I look in the mirror, I am thoroughly disgusted at myself! The shape and structure of my body has changed recently and I feel more fat and flabby that ever!
It is my hope that I can somehow shake myself out of this funk and get myself back to the happy-go-lucky person that I normally am! Right now I am on two week holidays from work, so now is as good as time as any to do so!
I might as well throw my hands up in the air and yell "yippeeee" at random points in the day, just like I was on a ride, because my weight is a rollercoaster that just never seems to end!
One day I am up, one day I am down!
That being said, I really don't think working the schedule I have been for the past week is helping! When do I eat? When do I sleep? I don't know, so how is my body suppossed to react?
I work 10:30 pm to 6:30 am, then I come home and hit the sack until 8:00 am (1 hr sleep), at which point I get up and get ready to go to my other job! I work there from 9:30 am to 6:30 pm and then head home for another nap until 9:30 pm (2.5 hrs) when I get up to do it all again!
As a result, I am only getting 3 1/2 hours of sleep a day!
This is nuts! No wonder I am so tired I'm drunk!
Well ... enough is enough!
There is no reason for me to have bags under my eyes at 23 years of age!
That being said, I am taking some time off of my office job, and I'll start up again in the fall!
Lets hope that by having a somewhat normal schedule, my body will follow suit and want to loose the weight!
What a week!
In addition to running around doing last-minute errands before the wedding this weekend, (buy a bra, get dress altered, get hair coloured, etc.), I have been working like crazy!
Normally I have an office job which I work at about two days a week and then on Sunday nights and Thursday nights I go in for midnights at a factory, (General Motors)! Well, as usual, I applied for full-time at GM for the summer, and lo-and-behold this is the week that they call me!
I got the call on Monday and I was to start full-time, (working 10:30 pm - 6:30 am), that night! Obviously I can't leave my other job without any notice, so I have been pulling double-duty doing both, all the while trying to get my errands done in between!
Needless to say, I have not managed to hit the gym this week, but I have managed to keep my intake in check, and as a result I am down in the weight-loss department!
Yippee!
This weekend I showed both control and restraint ... in more ways than one!
Saturday was the day of the Bachelorette Party that I planned, and although I expected to over-indulge in both the food and liquor department, I managed to keep myself under control - in both!
The day started out with a half hour massage, (my first ever), and I am now officially addicted! As a pre-wedding reward for being the great Bridesmaid that I am, (wink, wink, nudge, nudge), I am going for an hour-long one the day before the wedding this weekend!
After the massage, we headed to Tim Horton's, where I ordered a low-fat turkey sandwhich - hold the dressing! Surprisingly, it was actually delish!
Next, we headed to the tailors, because although it was a Bachelorette Day, I still needed to pick up my dress before the big day, and of course I wanted the Bride to see it!
After the tailors we headed to the movies to watch The Break Up, and the Bride finally chose her post-nuptual song from the opening song played in the movie! How sweet it that?! Anyways... while there I ordered a medium pop, but I only drank about half of it, if that! (Which is quite good for me!)
Once the movie ended we headed to Kelsey's for dinner where a bunch of people were there for the surprise! I'll admit that I ordered something with a little more fat content than most of their choices, but with everything going on I only ate about half, so I figure it works itself out!
After dinner we headed to Yuk Yuk's and then to the bar! Because we all had to get around somehow, I decided to volunteer to be the DD! This way, not only was I thinking about everyone's safety, but I was also thinking about my health! Smart move on my part!
Also, other than at the movies, I drank water all night rather than my usual pop, so that's another bonus!
Needless to say, the night was quite fun, and I actually managed to maintain control over myself throughout the night, which of course I am quite proud of!
Lets hope I can keep it up!
After such a big gain at the beginning of the week, I was competely dreading the weekend!
In addition to being that one time of a month where I seem to gain the weight of an over-sized watermelon in less than twelve hours, I also had a very busy schedule, which I was not sure would accomodate my attempt at weight-loss!
Was I ever wrong!
Thursday was my Convocation from University, and although I did go out for a celebratory dinner with my family, I refrained from indulging myself into those tempting little finger foods that seemed to be in abundance during the service!
Yippee for me!
In addition to my display of willpower on Thursday, I also managed to maintain that strength throughout my Birthday on Friday! Although I did go out for dinner with family, (and watched as everyone scarfed down hot roast beef on an open-faced bun covered with gravy and fries with pop to wash it down), I ordered a salad platter, (large plate of four different kinds of salad), and quenched my thirst with water! Also, rather than have loads of fattening cake, I treated myself with just half a slice of strawberry pie!
Following dinner, my boyfriend and I went to the local fair with a couple of friends! Of course, I am famous for loading up on funnel cake whenever I go, so it came as a real surprise to everyone when I passed it up and simply went for a bottle of water and a pickle on a stick! (I know the pickle is bad because of the salt, but heck - it's my Birthday!)
All in all I think that I have done pretty well, and the scale is definately showing the results of my effort! Since Monday I am down 4.5 lbs!
Yippee for me!
Lets just hope I can maintain this willpower tomorrow when I host a surprise Bachelorette Party!
