So I ran out of my prescription of Phentermine. I thought okay no problem I will pick up the refill tomorrow. I came to realize that I have a real fasination with food. I couldn't stop thinking about it. I guess I never notice it before because I guess I just assumed I was hungry. It didn't matter where I was I could smell food even if I wasn't any where near anything that smelt like food. After awhile I could taste it in my mouth. I am really obssesed with food. I am a compulsive eater and I really need help with that. It didn't help that I had 3/4 a pack of golden Oreo's in my house. Once that was gone I was eating anything else I could find. Good thing is I did get my fruit in for the day. But I know I ate over 2,000 calories yesterday. Maybe I have an Eating Disorder? I am going to see my Dietitian this week and I am going to mention that to her.
I am not going to dwell on my mistake. I am going to move on and learn from it.
So it has been 1 month since my last doctor visit and starting my medically monitored weight loss program. I am doing pretty darn good. I think this time around might work. I lost 12 lbs with the help of Phentermine (appetite suppressant) and count calories. I hope I get down to 236 or 237 when I go see the Dietitian next Friday. I got myself a diet minder note book and I have been charting every thing I eat. I put down the good with the bad and I tabulate my points. I do need to get into more exercise. I can't get my mojo going to do exercise. I have plan everything I should do to get in some exercise. But I am having such a procrastination and self defeating attitude. I could take some exercise classes but then in my head I start thinking that I won't continue with them and then I just wasted money. Maybe I should start small with just 2 classes. I need some thing to do on Saturday and one other day of the week. So that I won't be sitting at home being lazy and thinking of eating. You know I get bored so then figure why not eat. I would like to do some Coed activity so that I meet other people. I thought of volley ball. I want to do kick ball but that doesn't start until Spring. I will start with some thing easy.
I will see how I am doing when I come back in 4 months to check out my weight loss with my doctor. I see the dietitian more often to make sure I am in control.
I didn't do as bad as I thought I did on holiday vacation. I think they are right. If you write down what you ate you are more aware of your food choices. I wrote down everything. Even when I was not doing so hot. I maintained the weight I was at before I left for the holidays. I have to do a better job at food selection. I need more balance in my diet. I don't eat enough fruits and vegetables. I gave up beef and pork this year. I will see how I feel and we might keep that going. Just Poultry and seafood. I will try one day of vegetarian dishes. I am signing myself up for some community exercise classes for 20 dollars. I have nothing to do on saturdays any way. I am also trying to get out of the house more this year. I sit a home a lot and I find myself eating when I am not hungry and because I am bored. I will see how that works out.
I have been feeling good. A bit more happier and chipper. I am also on doctor prescribed medication for appetite suppressant. It is kind of weird not obssesing over food. I just have to learn how to eat the recommended amount of calories in a day. The Detitian gave me a pretty snazzy food diary and calorie counter book. I have been eating under the amount of calories I am suppose to eat in a day. Which I know she is going to get on me about the next time we meet. I just don't want to buy any more food since I am going home for a week for Christmas. I hate wasting food. I have to eat more fruits and vegetables. I don't know how I am going to figure that out. I can't eat too many raw vegetables since I have Irritable Bowel Syndrome. Beans are just out of the question! I am not a big fruit person. Fruits go bad before I get to eat them. Well I am not going to start with excuses but at least try.
I already started in motion the professional help that I need to get these pounds off. I came to terms that I have a problem and I am ready to deal with it head on. I have a therapist, a caring doctor and a dietitian. Now I have to find a personal trainer for the exercise boost. If my health insurance will pay for the other 3 I can save up to pay the personal trainer. Hopefully with this full on attack on my weight I should be able to fight back.
So I was away from home last week and I will be away from home next week. The food they serve at this conference is too heavy. I can feel the weight trying to sneak up on me. I hate it.
I work out at the hotel gym but it still seems like it's not enough.
