Slowly wondering

Since the horse up and left with out me. I have been slowly wondering the land trying to find him.  I have waisted too much time already.  I could of just started with out him. So I got back into my routine of going to exercise class.  I haven't got my diet back on track yet but I do have the exercise going well.  My butt and my Guns have never looked so nice.  I have to work my mid-section a bit more.  Lately, I have been on the website Sparkfitness.com.  I have this fetish of collecting points.  I have also started Graduate school via online.  I have enough time on my hands but I just dont use it wisely.

So the Horse left with out me.

I have been having the hardest time staying on track.  Maybe I am doing too much at one time.  Baby steps they say.  So far I have gained 10lbs from my 2 months of slacking.  I don't like it at all.  I need to go back to not buying or letting my stomach make all the decisions.  I try to eat more vegetables but I can only get vegetables during dinner time.  I am not into carrot sticks or celery.  I am done with my salad kick.  Pretty much frozen vegetables are my friend.  How I work I don't have access to a microwave.  I am spend most of my time driving to different inspection sites.  I hope this will change soon.  I have been looking for more of a Office type job. 

I am also working on my Masters in Public Health this year.  Last year I was just doing prerequisite classes to get into the program.  Now I am in the program and I am worried that I might not be good enough or write well enough.  I know I got through undergrad but I figure people were being nice to me.    These are real papers with thesis and arguements with proper gramar.  I am a science major only writing I really had to do was on Reports.  Plus all my classes are via Online which I know is going to be harder and more of a challenge.  In Masters program you have to maintain a be average.

I am Ready to get back on the Horse!

I have been half on and half off the horse.  I moved and just getting situated and then going on vacation to my parents place and the beach.  Then my sister came to visit for a week.  It pretty much was down hill from there.  Luckily I didn't do that much damage.  I kept myself pretty active the whole time.  Walking long miles and running on the beach.  I am not going to make my goal of under 200lbs by August.  Tomorrow I will go back to weighing and measuring everything.

Thanks to Pete for asking how I am doing.  Where is everyone else?  I need your support people. 

Thanks

Moving in 6 day's and counting!

I have been in transition for about a month now that I figured out where I am moving too.  I am finally starting to drop weight.  I guess I was in another plateau.  When I get my plateau's I feel heavy for a week or so and then the next week or so it looks like I dropped 4-6 lbs in a week.  Last week I was steady at 229-230 and couldn't break.  Then this week I am down to 224.  Go figure.  I will see my parents in 2 weeks when I go home for vacation.  They haven't seen in in like 6.5 months.  I hope they notice a difference.  I want them to be jealous and envious and in awe of me.  I am trying to get down to 220 or 215 before I go on vacation.  My family and I are going to the beach. I have a new bathing suit that I look fabulous and comfortable in.

I see brighter things happening to me in the near future.  I can feel it.

So I started to think

I know now it takes my body 2 years to loose 40lbs.  To get close to my ideal body size or not to be considered overweight it will take m until 2011.  That is only 4 years from now.  A lot could happen.  I am hoping with in that time my body would speed up a bit and no distractions and I might be down to right size 2 years prior to 2011.  Who knows.  I do know this I am going to have to start saving for my body contouring surgery.  I work out and I am eating less but my skin doesn't care. It gave up on me years ago.  So I know I am going to have to get some things tightened up.

I wonder if they have a layaway plan? 

My Bad I have been randomly eating!!!

I can't really blame anyone but myself.  I guess it is the excitement and nervousness of moving.  It took some time to find an apartment that I like and now I am waiting to see if I will be accepted as a new tenant.  I am making a come back from some unsightly blemishes on my credit.  I have paid off most of them except one in which I am paying over the minimum balance to have that balance paid off by next year.  I have never been late with rent or utilities I call those neccesities.  Most importantly I never been evicted.  So I hope I hear something with in the end of the week about the apartment.  This will be my first upscale apartment.  I always lived in college apartments or apartments 2 blocks from the hood if you know what I mean.  I am hoping this apartment will be the one stage from buying my own home. 

But I will get back into high gear and loose at least 5-10lbs before I go see my parents in July.   That is not too much to ask of myself.

I have been kind of Laxed on the exercise

The only day I actually worked out was Friday and that was about 2 hours because I was feeling really good at the gym.  I only over ate once the whole week.  That was the day they were giving away free chicken.  I know I couldn't help myself.  It was free.  I won't do that again even if it was free.  Made my stomach hurt.  I not use to eating that much and my stomach punished me for it.  I am down 2lbs this week even though I over ate one day the whole week. 

My week started out bad but ended out pretty good.  Some one punchered a whole in my trucks gas tank.  So I was leaking gasoline all over and I had to get my truck towed and it took a week for the tank to be repaired. 

The good news is that I am moving in August and I can't wait.  I have been looking at new places as we speak.

I have a question for you guys if you don't mind giving me your opinion.  I had a friend who we were close and cool with each other.  I was there for her when she had roommate problems and helped her move.  I was there to celebrate her birthday and college graduation.  She even met my parents and I made dinner.   So when my birthday came around in December all she did was leave me a phone message saying happy birthday.  I was angry.  I ended out going to dinner for my birthday with some one who I tutor for a semester.  She emails me one day asking if I was mad at her and I told her the truth that I was disappointed with you because when it came to my birthday I didn't even get a card.  I just got a phone call saying happy birthday.  We live in the same city and I have helped you out numerous times and all you can say is happy birthday on the phone.  So now she deleted me from her contact list and friends list.  I say that is an admisson of guilt.   I am happy she found some one special but by the time my birthday came around they have only been dating 2-3 months and he got christmas gifts.  I couldn't even get a card nor did she offer to have dinner at some place. 

Starting today.  No more Co-dependent, low self esteem, man dependent, girlfriends.  I am going find me some male friends.  I don't need this kind of BS!!! 

What do you guys think!

Looking good

So I found some old photos with me and I look good now.  I still have work to do but comparatively I am doing good. I am going to up load some old pictures of me so I know how far I have come.  I am down in measurements.  I am going to see my family in July and I am hoping to be at size 215 by the time I see them.  Right now I am 228 and If I can loose like 10 more pounds I would be doing good.  The goal is 200lbs by September.  I need help finding clothes to wear.  I am so use to being in my old mind set that I don't know what looks good on me.  I am not use to seeing my shape.  I tried on a nice dress yesterday but I just wasn't ready to see how good I look.  My calf legs look excellent since I have been running on the tread mill and elipictal. 

I like the gym now better than before. 

MORE FRUIT SHE SAYS!

Yes I have been doing good with exercise and eating with in calories.  But Joan the dietitian says more FRUIT!  Right now the only fruit I get is bananas.  I love bananas I never get tired of them.  My hand creams are banana flavored.  Joan says more fruit.  I also have to work on balancing my food intake.  She wants my food intake to be a total of 1900 calories or less but not lower than 1600. I have a hard time eating that much food.  She says that I stay with in calories because I make it all up in exercise.  So If I had a high calorie meal I would burn it off at the gym.  Sooooooooooooo that is how I get my cake and eat it too.  But Iam going to try harder for next month to eat with in 1900 calories while adding more variety of fruit.  I also have to look for eating patterns.  She noticed that I eat more calories on Tuesday and Thursday.  She wants to know why?  I never notice but now I am going to figure out why also. 

Now on another note I don't have anything to work towards.  My cousins wedding was called off.  I was going to look so fabulous in that dress.  I am sorry it didn't work out but I was really excited to go to a wedding looking fabulous.  Oh well.  I am not going to give up I will make a new goal.  I will look fabulous for when I move back closer to my old college so that when I walk the campus and my old friends see me they will say.  Wow! you really look good!  I can give them a modest thank you.

I need to have an event that I can wear a gown or dress.

I am having a bad week!

I started my new exercise classes which are fun but I need more of a challenge.  I want to sweat and work so hard that I start hearing ringing in my ears. 

Also on a bad note, I have been eating bad.  a lot of sweets and processed foods.  I need to get back to the basics because I have gained a pound this week.  Now that it is warmer out side I can go to more places like the gym. 

I have a Dietitian appointment next week and I know she is not going to be happy.  I have ate way too much fating things.  I have aten over calories one of the days. 

I am not going to dwell on this week.  I am starting back to basics today.  Last week is in the past and I am look forward. 

It is now based on how I am going to get back up from this week.  Last time this happened I couldn't get back up. But now I don't want to go back.  I like my new pant size and clothing.  Plus I just bought 2 new swimsuits that in all my years really looks nice on me. 

Hope every one else is doing great or feeling great.  Keep on going I know I am not quiting.