So this is whats been going on my husband started school, I finished my C.N.A. class and our ceremony is going to be June 3, 2011. I have the State test on June 25th and I'm so nervous but I have faith that if its ment for me to pass I will. 

"God never ends on a negative it may get worse before it gets better. thats a sign the enimiy is taking his best shot, but know this his best will never be enough. The forces that are for you are greater than the ones against you. Joel Osteen- #501–God Will Bring You To A Flourishing Finish

I might be 199lb and I may be struggling with my weight but it is just a bump in my road befor I get to my flourishing finish.  

In time everything everything will get better.

Its amazing how much can run through a persons mind in ten minutes. worries, tasks, life can be crazy sometimes but if you just take a moment to pause step back and look at your life it isn't that bad; as long as every one you know is ok its ok. Money is one of the main causes of stress and divorce. Alot of relationships often feel as if one person is making the money while the other enjoys the ride, may be it really is or may be its just crappy communication. Crappy communication can lead to big problems usually someone ends up cheating. Jealousness is another one i think money and Jealousness are two different sides of the same coin, cause they follow each other. In ten years from being young and dumb to understanding the true gifts given to us, all I have to say is wow... I was dumb. My true appreciation of my family is all that pushes me through this hard world. they are my purpose to not fail to not give up. So many things ran through my mind I could have blogged chapters today. Just off of worries. Then I spent time with my kids playing music while we brushed our teeth before bed. It was simply "awsome." realizing I was with my babys and they where happy dancing around with their tooth brush beats any other day.

I went to work today and I noticed I felt much better moving and just being busy. i had a healthy turkey and veggie sub, with only mustard point valued @ 6. and water water water water... I'm alll water today. I been eating oranges even apples I hate apples. I have a 3 mile walk against rape coming up on the 30th of this month. My cousin asked me and my husband to walk. I think there are about 8 family members that are walking for the cause. My husbands funny he's all "we better start trainning for those 3 miles." lol. Me: "Yea honey I know we are out of shape." but honestly keeping hydrated has been helping me. 

For the last 4 days my body has been hurting in a way it never hurt befor. my weight has stayed steady at 196.0 for the last 4 dayss which I consider good because I usally eat when my body hurts. I haven't had any energy. I dunnoo...

This weeekend was so stressful, monday and tuesday where stressful... and I gave in to my addiction I ate and ate till i didn't feel stressed just heca full my body was hurting too... i don't like the damage i did to my weight... I feel worse about addmiting I was so weak and that I left my self control behind these last few days...  I have no excuse for my self. I did bad..

 

I think this will be a great push for me... It will give me drive to do great.