Been Gone For a Little Bit

Oh my gosh, okay so the last 3 weeks have been one big whirlwind.  I haven't had time to write as much as I would have liked.  So, it feels good to be back at it. 

I'm at a point in my life where I am trying to make some big decisions.  I moved back home because of my boyfriend and family.  However, I don't like the cold weather (I live in Wisconsin) and most of my friends don't live here anymore.  The cold weather makes me very depressed (which makes me eat-I know sad, right.).  I love my boyfriend and I see a future with us-I just don't know if I can live here anymore.  My boyfriend has no intentions of leaving Wisconsin.  So...I'm trying to figure out if moving is the right thing for me. 

Easter was very nice.  We had our family over.  I didn't really eat anything all day because there weren't any good choices (e.g. muffins, egg bake, cheesey potatoes, breads-high fat foods).  However by 4 pm I was pretty hungry and the cake looked real good.  So, needless to say I ate 2 1/2 pieces of cake and then a lot of chocolate.  And, since I had had those things, I grabbed some egg bake.  I bet you can all guess how the rest of this story goes.  I didn't feel like I could pull out a JC meal and cook it in the microwave because everyone was in the kitchen-the whole time. 

I felt bad about what I had done but I didn't let it get to me too much.  However the following day, we received inches of snow.  I was so depressed that I just started eating.  I don't know what my deal is.  So, today I am trying to get back in the swing of things and move on.  I can't do anything about those two days but I can do something about today. 

Little bit of a relapse

Okay, so today I had a little...okay so it was a big relapse.  I think all of the exhaustion, anxiety, and burned out feelings got to me today.  I am currently working almost full time and getting my Masters.  The past two and a half weeks have been very draining.  And, today was just the day that I let food be my comfort.  However, all of the food was great.  I don't regret any of my eating decisions.  I'm sure tomorrow I will feel different, but there is nothing I can do about it now.  I have to keep on going~and that's what I'll do.  Next time, I will try to have a better plan so that food does not get the best of me.

~Good night!

Feeling stronger

Today I had my weigh in (I'm on the Jenny Craig plan) and I lost 1.6 pounds.  I am so excited.  This has been a very emotional week and a half.  I'm just exhausted so it was good to have a weight loss.  However, I am more proud of my ability to turn away from food instead of to food.  This was the first time I had really been able to talk myself out of emotionally eating, decide to journal and/or go for a walk.  So many other times I sit there and give into the food.  It felt great after I decided to do something other than food.  I actually did something positive to deal with my feelings.  This was a huge step for me and it is my motivation for this week. 

Starting over...again

Okay, tomorrow I will start over.  How many times have we all said that?  I think that phrase comes out of my mouth every other day.  The weight loss has been an unexpected struggle.  In the past if I wanted to lose weight, I could.  Nowadays, I find that the more I want to lose weight the more I gain weight.  I am going to JC tomorrow to rejoin.  This time I feel stronger and ready to be completely committed to losing weight-the healthy way.  I just want to establish a healthy relationship with food.  I am hoping that JC will help me do that.  Most of the time this feels like a long, lonely journey  because there is no one close to me that I can talk to.  I am hoping tomorrow will be a fresh new start with a successful ending.  Good night~