So I just found out that I got accepted into the Bachelor program at Baker College. I am so excited at 34 years of age and after already doining the college thing once I am going back pre-law. I have to say I am a bit scared but I am beyond excited. This cappedoff my moment of stepping on the scale and seeing that after nearly fourteen years I am under 170 pounds. I will say this prior to that fourteen years it was only a five month span of time for me under 170 pounds. I was 192 all through high school and at the start of college. Now my 12 that I bought recently are a little loose not much but a bit. At this point I am reconciled to not buying another stich of clothing until I hit my goal. So I will be walking around like the Olsen sister wearing clothes that are to big. That is okay I refuse to throw money away just to have to keep replacing it. Here is to hoping everyone is having great positinve results. While mine may be very small in increments a pound here and ounce their I will take it. At the end of the day all that matters is reaching your dream. I say dream because all of us have the skinny dream. The I can do this or I can get him dream. You know the one where you are confident and happy with who you are 100%. Well those are our dreams now lets continue to make them reality.....HAVE A VERY WONDERFUL DAY.

Okay so I realize that I said I would not weigh myself until tomorrow however I well I cheated. I have no problem admitting it I have a problem with the scale. However the good news is that while I might have only lost a few more ounces since last time I hit a crtical point. I am officially under 171 pounds which I have not been for over 13 years. It was at that moment that I realized GIRL YOU ARE SO GOING TO DO THIS. I am making very small strides and it comes down t two things first I do not eat any shit in the first place. NO SUGAR, NO SODA, NO PROCESSED FOODS OR CARBS water only. I have been eating this way for over three years. So just changing my food like most people do and seeing an instant 5 or more pound drop is not going to happen. It took me a while to figure that out. Now that I have I am more positive than can be. Being able to look at myself in the mirror and know that nothing is going to keep me from my goal it very exhilerating.

 

So friends the moral is LITTLE ACCOMPLISHMENTS BIG RESULTS.....This is going to be my montra.....Good Luck and everyone have a great day.

So I went school shopping with my daughter yesterday to grab a a few things and she says are you going to grab anything. So I decide to try on a pair of Capris well I am officially in a 12 now. Not a 12-14 a 12 every store we went in I tried on a 12 and they all fit and they were not tight. THEY FIT:). It was great I am so use to trying on the 12 then realizing that I am not quite their yet. So yesterday was a great day with my Hunter. She got to see mommy smile like never before. I have not been in a 12 since I was in elementary school. I was a 16 through junior high and 16-20 through high school and beyond. Yeah I have been able to buy medium even small tops on occasion as I am smaller up top. However these were pants and they all FIT.

 

Then I realized that I am so going to reach my goal of 28 pounds by Christmas and 40 by my 35th birthday. Small achievements make for big longer lasting results. Today I woke up very happy. I thank everyone because this sight is actaully having a great impa t on me sticking to my goal. SO THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART.

Okay so I wake up this morning go in the bathroom and the scale was gone. I know I asked my husband to hide it from me for two weeks but I thought I was going to freak. I started thinking where is it? I can not start my day without weighing myself. Then I thought okay girl you really have a sickness. I can do this it is only fourteen days. Of course he is going to take it away again but that is what you asked him to do CORRECT.

 

So I have no idea where I am or what to do but one thing is for sure. As soon as I ask him about the scale he will never give it back. I need to take this time wo work on my mental health. I did not realize that I was this obsessed until I almost decided to come into work late just to search my house. Which considering the size and all the damb closets could have taken the better part of the day.

 

So I say to you that I  have a serious issue and I do not think it will go away with the weight. However all I can do now is buckle down and stay strong. I have not fell off the wagon yet and do not intend to. Mayhap this is good for me. WISH ME LUCK.

 

 

Okay so am going to take a break from my posts for two weeks and see what happens in that time. I have asked my husband to take the scale away from me for a week but will have to change that to two. I am becoming excessive if I see the scale go in the wrong direction I freak out. So some drastic measures are called for. So I will update everyone on my progress or lack their of on August 11th. Please wish me luck I can use all the help I can get.

 

Todays weight= 171.2

.4 ounces down from yesterday.

SMALL STRIDES BUT MAKING THEM ALL THE SAME

Today I was able to put on a pair of shorts I have not wore in over two years more like three. In any event it feels very good and to think it was really only two to three pounds keeping them from fitting properly. Slow and steady I guess and ounce here and ounce their adds up to comfort. Today I woke up and actually felt for the first time that I am actaully going to fulfill my goal this time. I will not fall off the wagon or if I do I will make sure to pick my self up dust myself off and get right back on. This is one of those goals that I can see when I close my eyes but then I open them and realize how far I have to go. However being able to put on those shorts was like a wake up call.

 

I guess I have always just thought it does not matter how much I work at it the genes in my family are not good ones. All the women in my family our overweight except for one. I am not sure if it is cruel to say this or not but I use them as a reason for fighting to at least maintain. It is awful to look at ones family and see how beautiful they are despite the weight but also to see what the weight does to their disposition. I need to be here for my kids for my husband for me. I fight to stave off the health issues that I see my mother and my sister go through. I fight to live the most healthy fun active life I can because the time with my family is not something I will not get back. When they are grown I will never be able to get back the trips to the amusement parks the tennis matches the walks on the beach. I fight for the freedom to live now and not sit on the sidelines anymore embarrased and exhausted and an embarrasesment to my children.

 

Todays weight   171.6

1.8 total pounds down in five days so I guess I am on my way. Spent yesterday trying on wedding dresses for my vow renewal with my husband 15 years. While it felt amazing to be able to wear a size 12 Vera Wang dress what I saw in the mirrors was not what everyone else saw. I think it is time to start working on the mental image I see in the mirror as well as the physical. Being overweight for a good 20 years has certainly had an impact on my self image.

 

In any event I am starting this week off on a postive note another pound down and 42 more to go. Have a great day.

Well this is day two and while I think it would be better to keep my post to once a week I am doing this because yesterday was a bust. I had not slept the night before and fell into bed as soon as I got home. I did consume my eight glasses of water and healthy food all day however I did miss dinner and did not get my exercise in.

 

Today my goal is to get in a half an hour of eliptical 20 minutes of strength straining. Good Luck to everyone who like myself has chosen to make the commitment to YOU.

 

 

Ironically I am down .6oz today :)

Today July 20,2011 I woke up with the knowledge that I am lazy. Yes I want to loose 40 pounds however i know in my heart that just because I want to loose it does not mean I will. I have done this in the past around my 30th birthday I told myself you will not be over 200 pound when you turn 30. I am not sure if it was mental or stress but low and behold on my 30th birthday I was 175 pounds instead of the 212 I had been for the previous two years. Once I realized the weight was coming off I started working out everyday and eating right. As first I could not get through 15 minutes without being tired. I remember my husband saying to me you are done already and I would lash out, and tell him that I was not him and I did not have the perfect body, that I had to start slow or rosk hurting myself. He was and is the picture of the perfect athlete I was always the overweight girl hiding from everone and everything. I started walking the park witch is 2.5 miles and at first it took me 40 minutes to get through those two miles. At the height of my health I got to 171 walked five miles a day in 20 minutes and worked with weights daily. I went from a 18-20 to a 12 in my clothes.

 

Then in April of 2008 I started a new job and became very ill to the point where I ended up in the hospital . My imuine system has not been quite the same since that first illness and I have not worked out since. To go from the daily life that thought only of the next work out I craved working out it became a family thing we would all work out together. Then I got ill and had no energy and an excuse for every time my husband would say want to work out. I am the first to say that when you are working out you feel ten times better than words can possibly describe. However I am so scared to start over and not see the results that I initially saw the first time. I am in better shape now and I still eat pretty health but I do not work out at all. I guess this is me saying this is DAY one and I am scared.