Stop Wishing

Yes, I need to stop wishing.  We all do (I think).  We wish we were thinner.  We wish the weight was off us.  We wish we were at goal.  We wish we had maintain down pat.  We wish food wasn't an issue.  on and on......

Here's what I need to wish for.....I need to wish I was not an emotional eater!!!!   Last week was on target, 100% effort and benefits acheived for me.  This week - ha!   50% of the days have been food horrible.  And why??????  Because of a little bump in my road and off the wagon I flew.   The worst part is, I knew this was coming (so I wasn't surprised) and it's not even that big of deal.  But yes, it's emotional.  And yes, for 2 days I was on a binge.  Now, the same circle - beat myself up, yadda, yadda, yadda.

Thankfully today has been a good one.  (yes, I can do this).  But from here on out I need to wish I wasn't an emotional eater.  I need to focus on fixing that, and not the calories so much.  I know, easier said than done.    But if I'm going to wish - I need to wish for something that would make a lasting difference in my life.

Anyway....I hope others are being successful.  I hope everyone had a great day on the wagon today and no one got bumped off.   I'm on track, again, and have tomorrow planned.   Thankfully, the exercise was not an issue - just exercising the fork and spoon.   On to the next day......and to better wishes!!!  Take care, M

Last Week

I did it!  I went to bed last night feeling very good about myself.  I reveiwed my journal for this past week and I did it.  I made it through all 7 days on track.  I worked out each day, some days twice.   I ate within my calorie limits every day but one, and that day I was only out by 96 calories (and 3 of the days I was below the limit by a several hundred, making my daily average below for the entire week).   And best of all, I feel good!!!  

I felt confident enough to face the scale this morning.  Here comes being accountable of my actions over the summer.  YIKES, I was scared.   I was also hoping, okay for a miracle, that one good week would erase a summer of poor choices.  (okay, I can dream sometimes can't I?)  Well, not as bad as I thought 4.5 lbs over what I was went I moved to the lake.  (It was probably higher last Monday, so I am grateful for that).   But I know that 4.5 lbs is something I can handle getting off me.  And I know if I keep on track, it won't take me long either.  So I'm handling it okay - at least for things minute. 

The great thing is - this week I know is going to be another good week.  How do I know this?  Well I have the following in my favor:

So I'm set for a good week.  And being accountable for a good week is much easier than being accountable for poor choices!!!!   I'm looking forward to another successful week.  Are you??  Hope you're having a great start to it anyway. 

Five Days

I've got 5 good, no great, days strung together.  And frankly, I couldn't be happier.  Plus I feel so much better than what I was doing.  The workouts come easier to me than the food.  But I think I've got a good start of my trail back to how I want to live my life.  Still no weigh in, but I think I'll do that this weekend.  I need to know and be accountable for my actions (eating actions over the summer).  Thank you everyone who keeps encouraging me. It helps so much!!

Hope everyone is finding success and positives in their days.   We CAN do this, together!  Take care, M

Stringing

Yep, I'm finally stringing good days together. I've got 3 in a row. Want to say I'm back on track, but I'm going to hold my breath of that comment for a few more days. LOL Workouts are still great (thankfully). The food choices I've made have been right on target. I haven't gotten back the scale, yet. But I will. I'm going to hate to see the damage, but I need to be accountable. THANK YOU, all of you that have encouraged me to take small steps and keep at it. Your words mean so much to me!! So thank you for the support. I want to get back into the habit of 'visiting' with my EP friends too. I'm sure it would help keep me on track. I love reading what everyone else is doing. Thank you - with the support I get here, I can do this! We can all do this - together. Thanks for sticking with me! Hope everyone experiences something positive today!

Stuggling

I'm having difficulty getting back into the groove.  I feel like I was fooling myself, thinking that "once I get back home..."  It's not easy.  The workout portion of my days are fine, but the eating part is NOT.  I need to stop. I feel like I'm spiraling out of control.   And frankly, I am very worried.

Hopefully I can get a handle on this.  I have spent most of the morning 'getting things in place' for myself and some success.   Although I have also done my fair share of beating myself up.  I know I need to do some basic things - like get all my water in during the day, visit EP at least once a day, and start doing some of the things I know work.  But how?!   I know how, I just need to do it.  Hopefully logging will help me get back into the groove.

Thanks for listening to me ramble.  I know I'm being a downer, hopefully I can turn that around too.   I've been a little afraid to even start 'gabbing' with friends because I don't want to bring my bad, whatever this is, to them.  

I'm going to try to hang tough, finish this day strong and do what I know works.  I need to focus again on me, and my goals - let the rest of life take care of itself (especially the parts I can't deal with).   Again, thanks.  Hopefully the rest of you are having more success today than I am!  Take care, M

Fearful

Two days home, two days of workouts done, two days of good eating.  BUT....I have not gotten on the scale and not taken any measurements.  I am scared to death to see the results of some reckless choices I made over the summer!!!! 

I'm on track, but still think I should know where I'm at.  I wonder how long I will wait to step on the scale and see.   I want to string several good days in a row and try to put as much distance between me and my old habit choices.

I look forward to getting caught up with everyone and start the support process again!!!

Home Again

Yes, sadly, we moved home today from the lake.   And yes, I am worried about the toll that summer has taken on my efforts.  I have consistently done my workouts, so I'm not out of the groove on that.  BUT, eating wise - oh boy!!!  I know I made bad choices and I know I did not always practice moderation.   So I'm scared to measure and weigh!!!

I have come home with a game plan, which will begin first thing tomorrow morning.  I have a plan for workouts and a food plan.  I will get back in the saddle - although I know it's going to be very hard.  Good thing is - I've done this before and I know I can do it again.   But I bet there are going to be some crabby days in this coming week :)     I also have emotional things hanging in the balance right now that could impact my efforts.  Thankfully I'm aware of them and they shouldn't take me by surprise. Life is just hard sometimes and I need to get over it!!!!   Pull up my big girl panties (which are now much smaller than they have ever been) and get on with it.

So, tomorrow I begin again.  I'm looking forward to getting caught up with all my EP and hometown friends. (one of which I am going to start walking with twice a week, in addition to my regular workouts).    I hope everyone enjoyed a successful and fun summer.  Let's see what kind of good trouble we can get in this fall.  What do you say?!!

1/2 Way Through

I can't believe that summer is half over!!!   Hopefully everyone has been enjoying as much as me.   As far as my goals - LOL.  I haven't slowed down in the workout area on bit.  And that's a good thing because I've been eating more than I think I should.   BUT, with that said, I've been maintaining my weight - within 4 lbs (depending on the week I hope on the scale).   Hey, I'll take that - enjoying life and not gaining weight.  I couldn't be happier.

I know in the fall I'll be able to put my nose back into the food journal and get focused again so I can get those last few pounds off.  But for now, its' okay to let it go.  Thank goodness the workouts have continued, and some days even gotten more intense - that's saving me.

Continue you have a great summer my EP friends!!!!   I look forward to returning home (not really) and getting back in contact with all of you.  Miss you guys!  Take care and stay strong, but enjoy!

Stickin' With It

Unfortunately, we had to return home today to take care of some 'in town' business.  We already miss the lake, but the DSL is good (gotta find the little benefits where you can).

So far so good, as far as my summer plan.  I haven't cut down on the exercise much (if at all), but I have not been obssessing about the food.  This morning I was surprised at a scale number decrease (and pleased).  It's hard to find balance!  But I will keep trying and I will NOT go backwards. 

Hope everyone has started to enjoy summer!  Life is good.  Stay strong with your choices and be good to yourself.  I miss all my EP friends and "gabbing" with you all. I feel out of touch, but there just isn't another option right now.  Take care, M

Poppin' In

Back to civilization and high speed internet!!!!    Camping trip was great, being at the lake is great, but having dial up is NOT so great.  I miss my EP fix and all my EP friends!!!!    Thankfully in the next week we will get into our summer schedule, which does involve being at home one day a week (somebody has to come here to mow the lawn) and I should be able to log on a little more frequently.

Workout wise - I am so totally on track.   I have adjusted my schedule a little and included kayakking (which you can't do here in the winter).   Even while away camping (and while dh was here this weekend visiting) I've gotten up early and not missed a day of workouts.   While gone I walked, and walked, and walked.  Saw the sun come up over the sand dunes and set on Lake Michigan.  Worked on the trails, the beach (burr had to bundle up), and along Lakeshore Dr.  Even did some jogging (which because of my knee is a no, no but I just really wanted to try it).   So exercise I am totally fine.

Yesterday was the end of my 4 wk plan.  Disappointed in myself - TOTALLY.  Talk about a wasted month.  I only lost 1.5 lbs and only 2 inches.   I am not disappointed in my losses, but in myself.  I totally wasted this month by making HORRIBLE food choices.  Just horrible.    Emotional eating was something I FOUGHT with everyday.  You know that I mentioned this demon I've been slaying.  Well, still doing it and not very successfully I might add.  I've actually decided to just let this demon reside in my neck of the woods for now and try to avoid it.   I know avoidance won't work long term, but I just can't fight it anymore. I just can't.  And unfortunately I have chosen to let it take it's toll on my eating habits.   SO - today was a new day.   Shaky at best I say this.  I MUST gain control again and get back on my eating plan.   The worst part is, I like my eating plan and it's something I can do and live with.  But these old habits are just inching themselves back in.   I know that you can't change 25 years of bad habits in 5 mths.  I'm giving myself no slack, nor do I feel I should.  I have just wasted a month, wasted.   Thankfully I have not gone backwards, number wise (and that's totally because of the workouts and punishments I've doled out).   But I don't want to fight this food fight.  I just want to keep going forward - or at least stay the same in terms of eating.  I want these new habits to be what I choose, not these old habits.

Okay - enough whining.  I'm not on here enough and I certainly don't need to take up time with whining!!!   So today, and for sure tomorrow I will eat within my limitis.  My biggest priority is getting back to my 10 servings of fruits/veggies a day.  Second priority, no more alcoholic beverages.  Third, balance out or space out when I eat during the day.   These are things I know I can do.  They are not hard, I just need to make them a prioirty.  Even have them on a list on the fridge.

Another thing someone just told me about it to make it a rule to not eat anything unless you are sitting down.  I thought how simple that sounded but then realized I really do eat a lot of my calories (especially when I'm off track) when I'm standing and snacking.  So I'm going to try this.  If I'm going to eat something, I must sit down.  Not more grab and snack.  Wonder how it's going to work?

Okay, I've missed all of you.  I miss reading your successes and struggles.  I have missed your motivation and support.  Being away makes this saying hit home - you don't miss what you never had.  Thing is, now I've had these things and while I'm away I've missed them.  Thanks for the support I have gotten, even when I couldn't respond. 

Let's keep at this together.  Let's get into those summer clothes/suits we've always wanted to wear.  Let's get some outdoor activity into our lives.  Let's do this, because I know we CAN!!!