what doesn't break us makes us stronger

needed me. It was hard to watch him suffer. The ward was awful everyday a bed would be cordoned off and you could hear relatives crying then the next tim e i would visit it would have another patient in. Death surrounded me everyday. my dad has always been a strong man but i had to watch him wither away one sunday afternoon i went to the hospital and i saw him and i was so shocked at how much weaker he looked at time my dad looked ok yes he had lost weight but he would sit and talk and laugh. Today he couldn't talk and i sat and held his hand tears steaming down my  face i couldn't even hug him as i was scared to hurt him. The doctors said that he would be better in a hospice. But the next day i got a call saying that he wouldn't last the night. Monday came and went and my dad was still fighting. I have a step sister from my dads 1st marriage and she was aware that he was ill but hadnt rang i had been leaving messages on her phone about his progress. Finally she rang Tuesday evening and i put the phone to his ear and she spoke to him. After the call my dad took his last breaths i told him i loved him and held his hand, it was if someone was helping him to go. He was finally at peace. I used to pray that he would be taken away from the pain and finally he was,

What doesn't break us makes us stronger i believe that so much. I have to carry on for myself and my son especially its been hard and i know that i haven't dealt with my grief properly but i've done the best i could. I think about both of them daily and they have given me their strength to carry on and i'm blesssed for having them both for as long as i did they where both too young to die but i know that wherever they are they suffer no more and i get  peace from that .